


CrypTech Investigations

by heartsdesire456



Category: Bandom
Genre: Adventure, Alternate Universe, Comedy, Humor, M/M, Paranormal, Science, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-27
Updated: 2013-02-27
Packaged: 2017-12-03 20:13:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 31,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/702165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartsdesire456/pseuds/heartsdesire456
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Patrick was one of the first hires Brian Schecter made when he and his boyfriend started CrypTech Investigations, an advanced, well funded research group for all sorts of phenomena that the greater science community had no respect for. Patrick, though not exactly fascinated by the paranormal, unexplainable, and cryptozoological, did, in fact have a PhD in Genetics but a blacklisting from all the best genetics labs due to an unfortunate incident where he maybe, sorta, kinda didn’t like one of his professors his final year of graduate school showing a ‘special’ interest in him. At the time, refusing to suck his professor’s dick seemed like the only sane thing to do. However, when he found his reputation already ruined as soon as he graduated, he wondered if it would’ve really been that bad to blow an old guy if it meant being able to actually find employment.</p><p>(Another fic moved to AO3 for a friend's downloading pleasure!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	CrypTech Investigations

**Author's Note:**

> So this was never a popular fic on LJ but it's one of my favorites and I'm moving it over for my buddy Valress.

“Alright guys, we’ve got us a new investigation to start on! Who’s going?” Brian asked as soon as he got into the board room they met in, slamming down a pile of files in front of his seat, at the head of the table.

Gerard looked up from his spot beside Brian. “Well it would help if you told us what kind of case, dude,” he said, earning an eye roll.

“Does it matter? Everybody ends up going on investigations with everybody, don’t they?” he asked pointedly. “You go on every case just to annoy me and half the time you don’t even know what the hell they’re doing,” he challenged.

Gerard smiled widely. “Just enjoy making sure you still worry about me, babe,” he said, winking as he started shading in something on his sketch. “Five years is a long damn time, after all.”

From down the table, nearly everybody groaned. “Look, flirt other places,” Spencer demanded. “I want to know if I have to take my skinny ass somewhere cold again. I _refuse_ to go to Alaska again. Refuse!”

Ryan nodded. “Siberia too. I’m still finding patches of skin that are scarred from the frostbite on my legs,” he said.

Brian grinned. “You’re in luck! Nevada is the farthest from cold, isn’t it?” he asked, and Brendon perked up.

“Nevada?! I can go visit my mom and dad when we’re done!” he cried triumphantly, holding up victory arms. He looked around. “What?! I know I’ve got to go no matter what. That’s what happens when you’re on the bottom of the totem pole,” he pointed out.

Gerard nodded. “He isn’t wrong, Brian,” he said, waving at him with a pencil. 

Brian rolled his eyes. “Well, I’m sure the one most interested in this will be Trohman,” he said, and Joe perked up, hair bouncing.

“Aliens?!” he asked excitedly, and Brian nodded.

Andy groaned. “Of course. Always the fucking UFOs. Just because you can’t identify the flying object doesn’t mean it’s a fucking alien spacecraft!” he cried, hands held up dramatically.

Brian nodded, writing down Joe’s name. “So you’re in too, huh, Hurley?” he asked, and Andy nodded.

“Hell yes, this time I’m _proving_ your client is a liar or a stoner-“

“I resent that!” Joe cried. “I never see UFOs when I’m high,” he defended and Andy just stared. Joe huffed. “Well I _don’t_!”

Brian pointed. “No weed in your baggage, man. I’m not bailing you out of jail again,” he said, and Joe nodded obediently. “Speaking of stoners, we should probably bring you, Saporta,” he said, glancing up, only to sigh and shake his head as he caught the man in question leering lecherously at Gerard’s brother, who, to his credit, was at least trying to look freaked out. “If you value your balls, you’ll be careful who you seduce, Gabe,” he said, nodding at Gerard, who was still sketching, having not noticed the exchange.

Gabe sighed, sitting back. “Sure, I’ll come. I can convene with Mother Earth and ask her if she’s had any strange visitors disturb her inner rhythms,” he said, and they all rolled their eyes.

Brian just sighed. “Sure, Gabe. Same rules as Joe, though. Any and all ‘spiritual ceremonies’ you perform, don’t pack the Peace Pipe in your bags,” he said, and Gabe saluted cheekily. “Alright,” he looked at his list. “That’s only six people. Joe as specialist, Andy as skeptic, Brendon as research assistant, Gabe as Shaman, and then Ross and Smith as videographers,” he said, looking around. “Who else?” he asked.

Brendon perked up. “You forgot a sound guy. Have we got one on hire?” he asked.

Brian hummed. “I’ll see who’s free,” he said, nodding. “So, is that is? Anymore volunteers?” he asked.

Gerard looked up. “It’s best to keep the crew smaller,” he recommended. “That’ll be seven people. That’s plenty for one investigation, don’t you think?”

Brian hummed. “Yeah, but I have to put one of them in charge of the others, Gee. Who the fuck off that list can be trusted as _lead_?” he asked and Gerard hummed.

“I can go?” he offered, and Brian glared. “What?!” he asked innocently. “After _five years_ you must trust me enough for that-“

Brian cut Gerard off, looking confused. “Why do you keep stressing how long we’ve been together?” he asked, and everybody groaned, knowing those two could argue for almost as long as Pete and Patrick when they got going.

Gerard glared. “You’ll figure it out-“

“No really, what’s up?”

“You better fucking figure it out-“

“We totally haven’t been together five years anyhow, it’s _four_ ”

“Oh my God, I’m going to leave you in a minute-“

Mikey finally broke them up. “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD FIGHT IN PRIVATE!” he cried, shocking everybody, as he was usually so quiet. “Gerard, you know you won’t leave him, you threaten that every day,” he said, and Gerard glared.

“I can be an only child really fast,” he threatened and Mikey flipped him off, earning a gasp.

Mikey turned to Brian. “And you, moron, are only digging yourself deeper by arguing. He keeps hinting because you seem to not know that today’s your fucking anniversary,” he said, and Brian cringed, shooting Gerard an apologetic glance. “Now back on the case!” he demanded.

Pete looked up. “I’m not needed here, can I go?” he asked and Brian sighed.

“Fine, if you’re not coming on the trip, you can go,” he said, and Gerard glared at him nastily as he stood up and snatched up his sketch book and pencils, walking out in an angry huff.

Pete just stood up with a grin. “Sweet, I’ve got a lab to fuck around in,” he said brightly, jumping up.

Brian turned around as he headed out. “DO NOT CONTAMINATE ANYTHING!” he cried after Pete, who skipped out of the room happily. “Fuck,” he said, then turned back. “So,” he eyed the ones left. “You guys have a flight to catch tomorrow morning. Go pack,” he directed, sliding files down the table for them to grab on the way out. “I’ve got major ass-kissing to do,” he said, cringing as he turned to walk out.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Patrick Stump liked working in the lab. It was generally quiet, organized, and clean.

… Until Pete came in and annoyed him. Sadly, this happened at least twice a day.

“Patrick-Pants!” Pete cried, disrupting Patrick’s quiet with his noise. “Patrick, Patrick, Patrick!” he said, dancing over to where Patrick was examining hair samples in the microscope. “Whatcha doin?” he asked, sneakily worming a hand under Patrick’s lab coat as he stood against his side.

Patrick sighed. “I’m comparing primate hairs to add to my data library,” he answered, knowing from experience that ignoring Pete never worked.

Pete smiled. “Cool. You’re awesome, Patrick,” he said, laying his head on Patrick’s shoulder affectionately.

Patrick bit back his smile but couldn’t help but think that sometimes, maybe he liked that ignoring Pete didn’t work. Patrick smiled as he thought back to how they met.

Patrick was one of the first hires Brian Schechter made when he and his boyfriend started CrypTech Investigations, an advanced, well funded research group for all sorts of phenomena that the greater science community had no respect for. Patrick, though not exactly fascinated by the paranormal, unexplainable, and cryptozoological, did, in fact have a PhD in Genetics but a blacklisting from all the best genetics labs due to an unfortunate incident where he maybe, sorta, kinda didn’t like one of his professors his final year of graduate school showing a ‘special’ interest in him. At the time, refusing to suck his professor’s dick seemed like the only sane thing to do. However, when he found his reputation already ruined as soon as he graduated, he wondered if it would’ve really been that bad to blow an old guy if it meant being able to actually find employment.

CrypTech did field research and lab analysis of almost any type of unconventional investigations imaginable, but their specialized fields were various unidentified large primates in non-native regions (Patrick liked to simplify it and say ‘bigfoot’, though the resident bigfoot specialist jumped down his throat about all the different regional and international variances whenever he simplified things like that), UFO research and extraterrestrial phenomenon, and paranormal investigations.

The crew at the time of Patrick’s hiring had consisted solely of Brian Schechter, the owner/manager/everything else administrative of the company, Gerard Way, Brian Schechter’s boyfriend and self-proclaimed believer in most things mythological, Mikey Way, Gerard’s younger brother and assistant (he said he was only there for the coffee and because he loved his brother, but everyone knew he just wanted to make sure they found proof that Unicorns existed), Ryan Ross, a student videographer, and Patrick himself as head of the lab and research.

Not long after his hiring, they began hiring specialists. The first hire after Patrick was an extra videographer, Ryan’s lifelong friend, Spencer Smith. After him, the first specialist hired was Andy Hurley, a practiced Bigfoot enthusiast and self-proclaimed UFO skeptic. The next hire, much to Andy’s dislike, was Joe Trohman, an experienced UFOlogist with many years of private work under his belt. After that, in quick succession, came the hiring of Brendon Urie, a research assistant, Gabe Saporta, a somewhat unconventional shaman, who was known to actually reach a few convincing conclusions as he practiced his spiritual ‘ceremonies’.

And the last hire was Pete Wentz. Pete was an internet sensation as a paranormal investigator. His evidence he posted freely and openly on his website was more astounding that most of the stuff that made its way to the various television series that existed. He passed off as an average ghost junkie attention whore and people didn’t respect that. The crushing blow to his web-based work came when, during a live event streaming to the web, one of his cameras that he clearly didn’t set himself and didn’t know about captured him and his young assistant making out and practically groping. It would’ve just been a laugh, only it had previously been revealed that his young assistant had a bit of an emphasis on the _young_ part. The girl was only fifteen, to Wentz’s twenty-three, which was illegal in fifty of fifty states, including Guam. He escaped a statutory rape charge when the girl refuted allegations they had ever slept together. That paired with widespread claims that Pete was mostly gay got the charges dropped, but his reputation was officially ruined.

Pete Wentz, when first hired, annoyed Patrick. He couldn’t stand people who did illegal things and got away with it. He also couldn’t stand pedophiles, and in his mind, twenty-three and fifteen was _definitely_ pedophilia, no matter how ‘consensual’ it was. He detested Wentz on principle and was annoyed even worse by his behavior around the office. He was always coming into Patrick’s lab and fiddling with things. He couldn’t seem to keep his hands to himself. He was loud, obnoxious, and had an abrasive sense of humor that neared meanness.

Pete had been working there for a month when, during a case assignment meeting, he argued for twenty-minutes straight that Patrick shouldn’t be allowed to come with them on a trip to Bhutan. His arguments were annoying at first, since he wasn’t a Yeti specialist either, so who was he to argue against Patrick coming, but he struck a nerve when, as a last ditch argument, he called attention to the fact that Patrick was noticeably out of shape and ‘would slow down the expedition’.

… And it _worked_. 

Patrick had missed out on an expedition to Bhutan, one of the few places that had successfully yielded results that stumped geneticists all over the world in search of the Yeti, and it was all Pete Wentz’s fault.

When he returned, he had even had the nerve to try and apologize, which only pissed Patrick off. Until, of course, Pete revealed the real reasons for his arguments.

_Patrick looked up to see Pete Wentz strolling in, smiling brightly as he carried a box of evidence bags. “Oh my God, we have so much for you to analyze!” he cried happily, dropping the box on Patrick’s desk. “Seriously, Bhutan was amazing and the investigation was intense-“_

_“Yeah, I wouldn’t know about that, would I?” Patrick snapped, glaring as darkly as he could at Pete, who faltered._

_“I know,” he said softly. “Look, I’m sorry about that, I just-“_

_“OH, you expect ‘I’m sorry I called you fat and out of shape’ to really fly?” Patrick asked. “Really?!”_

_Pete frowned. “Hey, I was only looking out for you,” he defended and Patrick scoffed._

_“Fuck you, Wentz. Seriously. Brian’s lucky I haven’t_ quit _because of him letting you talk him into leaving me. I seriously was tempted to punch him in the face until I remembered he’s the only person who will fucking hire me,” he said, grumbling._

_Pete hummed. “Yeah, he’s sorta the only one that would hire me too.” He smiled. “See, we have something in common!” he said._

_Patrick glared darkly. “No, we don’t. Unlike you, I’m unemployable due to a bitter asshole who tried to blackmail me, and when I called his bluff… it wasn’t a bluff,” he said weakly. His scowl returned full force. “You, however, brought it on yourself. Personally, having to work with someone who, for all points and purposes, should be in prison was bad enough, but having that same total bastard get me_ kicked off the best research trip of my life _is like waking up with hatred burning in my veins,” he spat. “If I were a violent person, I might’ve ripped your balls off and shoved them down your throat before you were out of that door, but I’m not, so instead I’ve sat here fucking brooding for the whole time all of the ‘healthy’ people were on a killer expedition!” He growled angrily, feeling his already red face begin to turn even closer to purple. “Do you know, I’ve been so angry and stressed that my_ hair is falling out _?!?” he spat. “Seriously?! I was already thinning, but now I have a bald spot like a seventy year old man and I’m not even thirty!” he cried._

_Pete just flinched, cowering back every few words. “But…” He bit his lip, looking helpless. “I really was worried you wouldn’t handle it well. I mean… I didn’t mean to call you fat, I promise I don’t think that,” he defended. “I just… they wouldn’t take my word for it and I got frustrated and-“_

_“And called me worthless!” Patrick cried. “A ‘liability’!”_

_Pete cringed. “I just…” He sighed. “I know how dangerous Himalayan expeditions are. A lot of people die up there and I-“ he ducked his head, cheeks slightly pink. “I care about you.”_

_Patrick frowned, confusion causing his anger to dissipate. “Uh, what?” he asked in confusion._

_Pete sighed, looking up as he tucked his hands into his hoodie pockets, shrinking into himself some. “You’re- You’re smart and- and pretty and even if you’re bitchy and mean, it’s kinda hot when it’s not directed at me,” he said. “And- and you sing when you think nobody’s listening and your_ voice _, dude. God, I’d kill to curl up in the corner of your lab and just listen while you do stuff,” he admitted bashfully. “And your eyes. You never have the same color twice. I’ve noticed. I tried to make a list but it’s not always dramatic, sometime it is, but sometimes it’s just a slight change.”_

_Patrick felt his cheeks begin to grow pink, but not from anger. Damn his pallid skin and predilection to blush. Pete licked his lips and smiled shyly, biting his bottom lip. “And- and you like shoes. And bright colors. And your smile, dude, oh God,” he sighed. “Your smile is like Prozac for me. It’s better than real Prozac. When you smile, no matter how bad I feel, even though it’s never aimed at me, I feel like… like… glowing.” He gestured at his chest. “In here it gets all warm and happy and I never feel that any other time. I don’t understand it. I just- it feels like- like-“ he sighed. “Know what, never mind. You’ll just insult me and it’ll hurt too much,” he said, turning to walk out._

_Patrick frowned. “No wait,” he called, and Pete turned back. “It feels like what?” he asked, and Pete paled, ducking his head with a sad smile._

_“Like I’m normal,” he admitted softly. He looked up with a small shrug. “It sorta feels like love too, but it can’t be, because love’s not happy. Love hurts. It always hurts. Happy and love don’t go together in real life, you know?” he asked softly, then turned to walk away._

_Patrick actually felt bad as he saw the door swinging shut behind Wentz._

After that incident, Patrick tried to be nicer. It was obvious that Wentz wasn’t the most stable person after that. Patrick was able to notice the way his attitude never matched his face unless he was being nice and excitable. It was rare that his snarky attitude wasn’t paired with tired eyes and a lack of real smiles.

One night, while working late, Patrick had been forced to work with Pete until late at night. Tired Pete had been a more open Pete and Patrick was able to really try and talk to him.

_Pete yawned as he stared at the screen in front of him. “Patrick… all it is, is a lot of numbers,” he whined._

_Patrick walked over. “It’s a map for the gene sequence of this sample. It’s just a small part of a whole sequence coded into mathematical equations to make it easier to apply to comparison samples,” he said, and Pete just stared. Patrick smiled. “Numbers good,” he said simply. “Pete make pretty numbers,” he teased, patting his shoulder playfully._

_Pete snorted. “Haha, dick,” he grumbled. He looked over. “I thought you didn’t like me,” he said, and Patrick looked up._

_“Well… I don’t, but you’ve seemed so sad lately,” he said softly. “I’m trying to be nice, you know?” he said, and Pete frowned._

_“What do you mean, I seem sad?” he asked softly._

_Patrick eyed him. “Well… your eyes are always droopy and stuff. I’ve started noticing things since that night we had that fight, and you always seem… ragged,” he said softly. He smiled uneasily. “It’s hard to be mean to someone who seems so bummed all the time.”_

_Pete bit his lip. “You obviously know my reputation, don’t you?” he asked out of the blue, and Patrick started, but nodded. “Figured you did after you said I belonged in prison,” he said weakly._

_Patrick shrugged. “Not to split hairs but… you sorta do. As ‘sad’ as you seem and as much as I feel bad that you always seem depressed, I can’t very well go ‘no, he’s a good, upstanding man who never did anything wrong!’, you know?” he said bluntly._

_Pete hummed. “I don’t think I belong in prison for what I did,” he said simply._

_Patrick snorted. “Dude, you were twenty-three and she was underage. That’s ultimate skeeze,” he said, and Pete snorted._

_“No, ultimate skeeze is that bitch planted that camera just to try and blackmail me. I told her I wouldn’t give her money just to keep her from showing it, cause I figured she wouldn’t want that rap on her own name, but turns out she wanted money more,” he said, cringing._

_Patrick made a face. “Still makes you a pedophile,” he said._

_Pete groaned. “I’m not a fucking pedophile! Pedophiles are sick people who prey on children for disgusting things. I just have an issue of not having equal physical and mental ages and an even bigger problem with_ not _falling hopelessly in love with the wrong people,” he said in an annoyed, cranky, tired voice. “Sure, she was fifteen, but it’s not like I was fifty! And yes, twenty-three is way too old for that and fifteen is way too young to even be having sex, but at twenty-three I was worse than I am now, I was suicidal with how bad I was depressed, I felt all of about fifteen myself, to be honest, and there was a girl who was beautiful and interested in me, and I wanted somebody to love me because I felt like the whole world hated me,” he said in a rush, shoving a hand through his hair as he yawned. “It wasn’t about fucking a teenager, it wasn’t about anything like that. I thought I had finally found somebody to love me back and I didn’t care how old she was or what the law said about it,” he said weakly._

_Patrick frowned. “Are you still depressed?” he asked softly. “I mean… you always seem so sad,” he said._

_Pete shrugged. “I don’t think I’ve ever_ not _been depressed. I think I was probably born with depression already set in. I was alright in high school because I was popular and I felt like everybody cared about me. But then we graduated and not a single one of my friends wanted to know me anymore… and college didn’t work out, so I started the paranormal website and I met a girl who ended up being a manipulative user and nothing else and she ruined whatever reputation I had earned for myself,” he said. “Sure, I was just as much to blame, but I’m sick of her getting to be the victim in the whole matter.”_

_Patrick bit his lip. “I’m sorry,” he said after a while. Pete looked up with wide, curious eyes. “I just assumed… well, you know,” he said, shrugging. “Hot older guy seduces young girl… and gets caught,” he said, waving a hand absently._

_Pete smiled tiredly, bags under his eyes nearly bigger than his eyes. “You think I’m hot?” he asked, and Patrick laughed._

_“You got that out of all I said?” he asked with a small smile. “And yeah, you’re not so bad looking,” he admitted, shrugging as he ducked his head._

_Pete smiled hopefully. “Not bad? That sounds good enough for me.” He smiled bashfully. “Especially coming from someone so beautiful,” he said in a shy voice as he ducked his head._

_Patrick just hummed, turning away to hide his pink cheeks. “Yeah, yeah.”_

_After a while, Pete whined and dramatically flopped out of the chair onto the desk. “I give up. I wanna go home.” He yawned. “Can I go?”_

_Patrick sighed. “Yeah, alright. I can finish up without you,” he allowed and Pete seemed torn. “Go on and get some rest,” he said._

_Pete shook his head. “Nah, I don’t want you here all alone,” he said, then walked over to look at what Patrick was doing. After a minute he looked up. “Oh hey, since I spilled details about my scandal,” he started, eyeing Patrick as he hopped up onto the lab table. “What’s your story?” he asked. “Blackmailed for what?”_

_Patrick cringed. “One of my Professors wanted me to sleep with him,” he said in a disgusted voice. “He like… kept hitting on me and I was all ‘ew, gross’ and then one day he said if I didn’t blow him, he’d make sure I never got a job in genetic research, no matter what.” Patrick shrugged. “I thought he was bluffing but as soon as I graduated and started applying places, my applications started ‘getting lost’ or the spot would mysteriously fill and stuff,” he said._

_Pete gaped. “Dude… that’s fucked up,” he said. “I mean, yeah, I was once on trial for statutory rape, but that’s like… attempted actual rape, sorta,” he said._

_Patrick chuckled. “No, I still said no, so no rape,” he said, and Pete shook his head._

_“No like… coercing someone into sex they don’t want is still rape, right? Like… I don’t know about the law, but that’s a lot worse in my mind than what I was doing,” he said. “I know I was wrong and stuff, whatever, but using someone’s future against them as a means to make them let you have sex with them is like rape-rape. That’s so not cool. He should be in jail for attempted rape,” he said._

_Patrick laughed. “Yeah, it’s pretty fucked up, but looking back, many times I wonder why I didn’t just blow him and be done with it. I could’ve been working in a government Genetics Lab or something. Hell, I had the scores to get better than an entry level job too,” he said._

_Pete frowned. “Don’t say that,” he said. “You’re too good for anybody who doesn’t treat you like a person,” he argued. “You’re too good for anybody that doesn’t realize you’re basically awesome.”_

_Patrick smiled. “Why do you think so highly of me when I’m a jerk?” he asked, and Pete bit his lip shyly, making Patrick’s’ tummy flutter._

_“Because you’re wonderful, Patrick,” Pete said, then walked past Patrick on his way out, stopping long enough to press a kiss to his jaw before leaving Patrick there for the rest of the night, alone and wondering what the hell was going on_

Patrick hated to admit it, but after that amount of flattery, it wasn’t hard for him to fall for Pete. He’d tried to deny him for even longer, but it ended up being of no use. As he quickly learned, ignoring Pete never worked.

Coming out of his thoughts, Patrick turned to see Pete staring at him. Pete smiled. “What?” he asked from his spot on Patrick’s shoulder.

Patrick just shook his head and looked into his microscope again. “Nothing,” he said, smiling when Pete kissed his shoulder, sighing as he got comfortable again.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Brian was sitting in his office when Patrick came in. “Ah, Patrick,” he said, opening up a file on his desk. “I need a favor,” he said, and Patrick sat down. “My ‘better half’,” he made a face, “Refuses to let me go tomorrow, he won’t go, and I need you to go out as lead investigator,” he said, and Patrick stared.

“I don’t know anything about UFOs,” he said simply.

Brian nodded. “Yes, but you’re the only one I really trust to whip them into shape, you know?”

Patrick sighed, ducking his head. “You know that if I go, my seriously NOT better half will have to come too, right?” he asked. “He seems to think I’m a delicate flower and if I go out in the field, he has to protect me or else I’ll like… fall into a river or something,” he said, making a face.

Brian sighed. “Alright, you go tell him I’ll draw up flights for you both and you can pick up your tickets at the airport,” he said, and Patrick opened his mouth to speak. Brian held up a hand. “Yes, you’ll get a bonus for doing this favor. Pete doesn’t though, I’m just paying for his expenses,” he said.

Patrick smiled. “He loves an adventure anyways,” he said, standing to leave.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
When Patrick arrived at the airport, Pete in tow, Ryan was actually already there. “Wow, you’re on time?” he asked in surprise.

Ryan rolled his eyes. “We’re waiting on you,” he said, and Patrick frowned. “Turns out Mikey knows somebody with a plane and it’s cheaper to charter a plane when you’re traveling with more than six people,” he said, and Patrick hummed.

“So, less security?” he asked, and Ryan nodded. “Good, because Pete’s a dumbass who wore so much metal he’ll get mobbed in general security check lines,” he said.

Pete sighed. “I didn’t think about metal detectors!” he argued, sighing as he hefted his bag. “Come on. Take us to the plane.”

They walked out, only to have Pete stop when he spotted the plane. It was a rickety looking monstrosity that looked like a throwback from the fifties. “Patrick is not getting on that thing,” he said immediately, and Patrick frowned.

“What?” he asked, and Pete grabbed the hem of his shirt nervously. “Pete, come on, we don’t have time for this,” he said, and Pete shook his head.

“That thing is held together by rust, I’m not letting you get on a plane that may very easily fall apart and crash,” he said, looking at Patrick seriously. “You’re too important to die in a fiery plane crash,” he argued and Patrick smiled.

“Pete, look at it this way,” he rationalized. “If we die in a plane crash, we die together,” he said, and Pete hummed. Patrick grumbled. “Get on the damn plane, Pete,” Patrick said with a warning glance.

“Well… okay, but only cause I know you can beat me up and stick me on there anyhow and I may as well go with dignity!” he said, turning to start walking towards the plane.

… only to trip right over Patrick’s bag, falling flat on his face on the tarmac.

Patrick really did try not to laugh, he tried hard, but in the end, he couldn’t help it. He chuckled as he helped Pete up, kissing the spot Pete was rubbing on his forehead sweetly. “Get on the plane, Peter,” he said affectionately, grabbing his bag and Pete’s as he watched Pete slump towards the plane, looking at it with distrust the whole way.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Brendon whimpered every time they hit turbulence. “Oh my God, I’m gonna die a lackey! I’m going to die at twenty-five, single, BARELY not a virgin, and a fucking pack mule for _nutjobs_!” he whined.

Pete snorted. “I’m gonna die before I can marry Patrick and adopt Cambodian babies with him,” he said, and Patrick’s head popped up in alarm from beside Pete.

“What?!?” he cried, and Pete eyed him flatly.

“What you think I don’t plan on marrying you and having babies with you!? As if!” he said, only to squeak when the plane shook violently again.

Spencer cringed. “I’m going to die at twenty-four years old. I’m the hottest I’ve ever been and I’m gonna die single just like Brendon,” he groaned, looking green from motion sickness. 

Brendon huffed. “I resent that, I’m totally hotter than you!” he argued.

Spencer leaned forward, glaring. “Then why are you ‘barely not a virgin’, huh?” he challenged, and Brendon glowered.

“Because I had a religious upbringing and I work my ass off. I don’t have time to fuck around like you do,” he said then snorted. “Hell, I don’t even have the free time you spend at the free clinic!” 

Everybody gaped at Brendon, who cringed. “Sorry, I tend to get rude when I’m FEARING. FOR. MY. LIFE!” he shouted up at the front, where the pilot just flipped him off, shocking them all.

Gabe just shrugged. “Eh, the Cobra says we’ll land safely,” he said simply, looking very relaxed. “And if I do die, it’ll be less painful than when Gerard finds out where Mikey was all night,” he said, grinning impishly at Pete, who managed a smile back.

“So you’re the only one that will die freshly fucked, huh?” he asked, rolling his eyes. Patrick cleared his throat pointedly, giving Pete a pointed look, and Pete blinked. “I mean, no you will not!” he said pointedly and Patrick just flushed when everybody smirked at them. He ducked his head and sighed.

“Wentz, first you _forget_ about last night’s ‘activities’ and then you announce it to the world? I hate you so bad right now,” he said, and Pete smirked.

“Not what you said last night, baby,” he said, winking with a lecherous grin.

Patrick glared at him and refused to hold his hand for the rest of the flight.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
When they landed, everybody laughed as Spencer promptly vomited bright Technicolor vomit over the side of the stairs down from the plane, Pete stumbled down the steps and bent over, hands on his knees as he took deep breaths, and Brendon _tumbled_ down the stairs in his haste, landed on the ground, and proceeded to kiss the asphalt, proclaiming his love for all things holy for bringing him safely down to earth.

Patrick shook his head, but walked over to Pete, rubbing his back and saying soothing things as he regained composure, only to stand up and nod at what Patrick was saying and wrap his arms around him.

Andy, the only one seemingly unfazed by the whole flight, looked around. “Right, so who’s our contact? Our client was supposed to meet us here,” he said, looking around.

After everybody was together and more or less calmed down, they began to wonder if anybody was coming. However, it was Ryan who called their attention to the approaching person. “Oh. My. God,” he choked out, staring.

Spencer looked up and gasped. “Oh mama,” he groaned, jaw hanging open.

Andy frowned. “What are you guys looking at?” he asked, turning to look, only to feel his eyes widen.

Walking towards them was a man. Tall, dark, broad, and if his exposed arms and legs had anything to say for him, very, very sexy. Patrick just stared, cheeks growing pink. The guy approached and smiled, earning muffled noises by the four entranced by his appearance. “Hi, are you the guys from CrypTech?” he asked, and Patrick cleared his throat.

“Yes, we are.” He held out his hand. “I’m Patrick Stump, the one Brian Schechter sent to head these… people,” he said, waving a hand over his shoulder.

The guy smiled. “Well hi then. I’m Matt Mixon, the client who contacted Brian Schechter,” he said, offering Patrick a little smirk. “So, how does this work out, Patrick?” he asked, still holding Patrick’s hand in his as he looked down at him with a charming smile. “Can I call you Patrick?” he added, and Patrick nodded absently.

Pete cleared his throat pointedly, coughing in annoyance. Patrick started, looking over at Pete, only to blush when Pete stared him down. “Um, you’ll want to talk to Joe, he’s the expert,” Patrick said quickly, then sighed shakily as Matt nodded, turning to walk past him. Patrick whined watching his ass as he walked way. “I’m a committed boyfriend. I’m in love. Love, love, love. Really in love. With a great guy. Really,” he said to himself and Pete narrowed his eyes.

“You better remember that,” he said pointedly, clearly offended as he turned to glare at the back of Matt Mixon.

Matt strolled to the center of the group. “Hi, I’m Matt, so who is everybody and who’s Joe?” he asked, looking around.

Spencer shoved his way to the front. “Hi, I’m Spencer Smith!” he said with his flirtiest smile.

Matt grinned. “Nice to meet you, Spencer. However, I’m looking for Joe-“

Ryan shoved Spencer out of the way. “I’m not Joe, but you can call me whatever you want,” he said in a low, sexy voice, biting his bottom lip seductively.

Matt chuckled. “Sweet. I’ll call you Legs,” he said, squeezing Ryan’s hand as he turned to head towards the last three.

Gabe waved. “I’m Gabe, and I think I’m the only one here who isn’t drooling over you,” he said, then smiled. “Also, the earth is very protective of you, my friend,” he said nodding, and Matt just hummed curiously.

Joe waved. “He’s wrong, I’m straight,” he said. “And I’m Joe,” he said. “I’m the Ufologist here, so I’ll need your statement. Also, tell it all to Brendon, the short one who is still tonguing the ground and hasn’t even noticed a hot guy standing around,” he said, nodding over his shoulder at Brendon, who was still lying on the ground ridiculously happy to be alive.

Matt nodded. “Nice. Assistant?” he asked, and Joe nodded. He looked at Andy, who was distracting himself with luggage. He raised an eyebrow, tilting his head as he looked at the curve of Andy’s ass as he bent over his the luggage. “Who’s that?” he asked.

Joe looked back. “Oh that’s Andy. He doesn’t believe in extraterrestrial travelers. So basically, he came just to prove you were smoking up in the desert and saw a shooting star,” he said.

Matt chuckled. “He’ll have a hard time proving I was hallucinating when I don’t even drink,” he said, shrugging. “So, is that everybody?” he asked, looking around. “I’m supposed to take you guys straight to the campsite,” he said.

Patrick spoke up. “Not quite. We’re supposed to be meeting our sound guy here. Spencer and-“ he smirked. “‘Legs’ are our camera guys but we don’t have a sound guy on staff.”

Matt hummed. “Could this person be a short guy with a giant pile of hard cases?” he asked and Patrick nodded. “There was one in the terminal,” he said, and Patrick nodded.

“Great, we’ll go get him and then you can take us straight to the campsite,” he said, then looked at Pete, who was still glowering at Matt. “No, I’m not having sex under the desert sky with you,” he said before Pete even thought to ask the question. “I do not want scorpion stings in bad places, I’m sorry,” he said.

Matt sighed playfully, shaking his head. “Ah, damn,” he said, grinning at Patrick. “The hottest one’s taken,” he said, chuckling when Patrick blushed, Pete glared, and all the others made offended noises, with the exception of Gabe, who was examining the grass patch near their feet, Joe, who was staring at his shoes in boredom, Andy, who was still appearing distracted, and Brendon, who was just now catching up with the group.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Patrick groaned at the heat as soon as they got to the campsite. Pete was even out of his hoodie and wearing nothing but a tee shirt. However, Patrick new that Pete’s love of nudity would win out soon if it stayed that hot.

Brendon, however, seemed delighted as he stripped off his hoodie and ran around the jeeps excitedly. “I’m _home_!” he cried. He ran over to a cactus and pretended to hug it. “Oh Cacti, how I love thee!” he cried. He spotted a tree and gasped. “Oh my God, my high school was named after these trees!” he cried, running over delightedly.

Spencer frowned, following him Ryan around the side of the jeep. “You went to Palo Verde? Dude, I lived like… three blocks from that school,” he said, and Ryan nodded.

“Yeah, I went there my first year of high school before my parents put me in Catholic school.” Ryan sighed, closing his eyes. “The _sun_ ,” he said happily.

Gabe snorted. “You’re all crazy. It’s hot as fuck,” he said, wiping at his forehead.

Andy shrugged, stripping quickly down to his shorts and a pair of flip flops. “It feels great to me,” he said, walking past them.

Patrick glared. “I hate you, Hurley,” he grumbled. He turned, only to groan at Pete, who eyed Andy and then tugged off his shirt as well.

“Yay! Nudist colony!” he cried, and Andy cried out as he ran to stop Brendon and Pete from getting completely naked.

Matt just chuckled, looking around. “Welcome to the desert, guys,” he said. “Alright, the walk is pretty short, just around those rocks and over the hill, but we’ll have to make a few trips with all this luggage,” he explained.

“Sweet,” Jon, the new sound guy, said. “Let’s get started, right guys?” he asked, and they all nodded, grumbling as they started carrying things that Matt unloaded from the jeeps.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Patrick looked around in confusion. “Is this camp permanent?” he asked, looking around at the tents that were much larger than he’d seen before.

Matt nodded. “Yeah, my ex runs a desert quad race type thing. I helped her open get it started so I’m out here all the time. There’s some researcher come out here too sometimes. Apparently there’s a rare lizard that lives in this area or something,” he said, shrugging.

Patrick nodded. “Alright,” he looked at the tents. “Everybody brought sleeping bags, right?” he asked, and they all nodded. “Well, there’s ten of us and four tents,” he pointed out.

Matt spoke up. “The tents have all got three camp cots. They’re not the most comfortable things ever, but it’s better than the floor of the tents,” he said. “They don’t have mattresses or anything but they’re kinda like the folding canvas chairs people take to tailgating parties and stuff,” he said.

Patrick nodded. “Good, so plenty of room,” he said. “So Ryan, Spencer, and Brendon, you guys all take that one,” he pointed at the one farthest to the left. “Joe and Gabe, you guys take the one next to theirs. Who wants in with them?” he asked, looking around.

The new sound guy, Jon Walker, stepped up. “I’m cool with that,” he said, and Patrick nodded.

“You take the one next to them, Matt?” he asked, and Matt nodded.

Matt turned to Andy, who was looking around curiously. “Wanna be my tent buddy?” he asked, and Andy raised an eyebrow, but shrugged.

“Alright,” he said, and Matt grinned evilly when Andy went towards the tent. Patrick just shook his head.

Pete siddled up to Patrick, smirking. “Just you and me,” he said, sliding a hand along Patrick’s hip. “All alone. In that big ol’ tent.”

Patrick gave him a flat look. “As hot as it is down here, you and I?” He kicked his bag. “Separate sleeping bags,” he said, and Pete’s jaw dropped.

“ _What_?! You mean you won’t even share a sleeping bag with me?!”

Patrick snorted. “Camp. Cots,” he emphasized. “Single person sized cots.”

Pete grinned. “I packed the air mattress,” he said, and Patrick snorted.

“No way, Pete.”

Pete huffed. “Come on!” he cajoled. “It’ll be like a unique honeymoon!” he said brightly, and Patrick eyed him.

“We’re not married,” he said pointedly.

Pete just smirked, wiggling his eyebrows comically. “ _Yet_.”

“Right, whatever,” Patrick said, grabbing their bags to take to their tent.

Matt nudged Pete, who was pouting with a grumpy look on his face. “Little fact about the desert,” he said, grinning. “It’s really, really cold at night. Negative Ned will be wanting body heat, trust me,” he said, and Pete beamed.

“Awesome!” he cried happily. He turned to walk away but frowned at two shacks tucked between a boulder and a giant cactus. “What’s that?” he asked curiously.

Matt nodded at the one with a black barrel suspended on metal legs above the roof. “That’s a shower.” He pointed at the other. “That’s an outhouse,” he said, and Pete made a face. “Seriously don’t mix them up in the middle of the night because, swear to God, pissing in the shower is _never_ a good thing for whoever finds it the next morning when it’s starting to heat up,” he said, and Pete made a grossed out face.

“Ew.” He shook his head. “Alright, thanks man, let me go help Patrick unpack,” he said, turning to jog over to his and Patrick’s tent. 

When he walked inside, he was a little surprised. He turned to zip up the screened door first, not bothering with the canvas one. They were surprisingly cool under the thick shady green canvas. He looked down and noticed that the floor wasn’t dirt. The tent was basically one giant piece. “Sweet, no scorpions!” he said brightly, looking over at Patrick, who was already setting up the equipment to check it all.

“We won’t be using the generators for anything other than the equipment, but for now I need to just make sure it’s all working on battery,” he explained. He stood up and walked around, opening the vent flaps to let a breeze through.

Pete eyed the camp cots and flopped onto one, cringing. “Oh yeah, air mattress for me,” he said, and Patrick rolled his eyes.

“Old,” he teased, and Pete rolled his eyes, walking over to sit beside him. 

“I resent that,” he said, leaning in to kiss Patrick’s red, sweaty cheek. “I’m only five years older than you.”

Patrick chuckled. “You are so lucky I brought you. You’ll be such a distraction,” he said, and Pete gave him a hurt look. Patrick rolled his eye. “Pete, not like that,” he said, reaching out to absently push Pete’s sweaty bangs from his face before turning back to the screen. It bothered him when Pete’s hair fell in his eyes. “You’re distracting because I love you,” he reassured and Pete beamed.

“So, does that mean we can have sex later?!” he asked brightly, and Patrick just chuckled.

“No.” Pete just pouted and changed into some shorts, going outside to look around sullenly.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Andy was unpacking his stuff when Matt Mixon walked into the tent. “So, when will we start this whole shindig?” Matt asked, and Andy raised an eyebrow.

“Shindig? Really?” he asked, then chuckled. “Tonight. We’re here for a week. That’s enough for a few good nights investigations. The bulk of claims for UFO sightings are at night. However, we will keep a watch out during the day,” he added. “Joe’s the Ufologist, I’m just here to prove you’re either a liar or you were mistaken,” he pointed out.

Matt gasped dramatically, clutching his chest. “My God, you found me out!” He snorted. “Chill, dude. I swear, if I was mistaken, it was a shocking mistake.”

Andy hummed, sitting on his cot to face Matt, only to get an eyeful of crotch, blushing as he looked straight up. “I’m not talking to your dick, sit down,” he said, and Matt chuckled.

“You wanna do something else to my dick?” he asked, winking as he sat down beside him, leaning in with a wink.

Andy glared. “No, thanks.” He looked up, tucking his hair behind his ears. “So, what time was it you spotted your ‘UFO’?” he asked.

Matt looked up and thought. “Well, I’d say it was around ten,” he said. “Me and my ex were out in the desert not far from here because one of the four-wheelers was stuck on a rock and we wanted to get it in before the next day’s race. We were both working on shaking it off the rock that at first I thought I’d seen a shooting star or something, but then I saw the flash again out of the corner of my eye and I turned,” he said. He lowered his voice so Andy had to lean closer. “I saw three bright, white lights. Like a triangle-“

Andy interrupted. “Equilateral or isosceles?” he asked.

Matt smirked. “Equilateral. It was moving really slow. Too slow to be a plane. There was no noise anyways. And no flashing lights or landing lights or anything. Just three, solid, unwavering lights moving slowly.” He leaned closer to Andy. “It was new moon so there wasn’t much light, so I couldn’t see the body, but I could see the stars blocked out in the middle of the lights.” His eyebrows twitched. “And Renee, she saw it and just as it came over head of us-“ he trailed off and Andy looked completely enraptured. “BAM!” Andy jumped, screaming slightly. Matt smirked, chuckling. “It just took off.”

Andy glared. “Asshole,” he said, then shook his head. “Okay… what drugs were you on before?” he asked, and Matt eyed him. Andy rolled his eyes. “Come on, in the middle of the desert at ten at night? Quad bike? Really?” he asked.

Matt shook his head. “Seriously. There wasn’t a drug fueled orgy, I don’t even drink,” he said.

Andy eyed him. “Seriously?”

Matt nodded. “Seriously. However, if you’re interested, I think I know where to find some of those good ol’ hallucinogenic flowers that grow out here,” he said, and Andy snorted.

“Nah, I’m good,” he said. “However, don’t think Gabe won’t have found them. He’s a ‘shaman’ and sometimes I think he’s for real about his spiritualism. Other times, I think he just likes toking up and getting paid for it,” he said, and Matt chuckled.

“Peace pipe, huh?” he joked, and Andy nodded. “Does he ever get things kinda right though? Like… surprisingly accurate predictions or something?”

Andy nodded. “Yeah, sometimes. I mean, sometimes he’ll just go into trances that most people think are for real and he’ll reveal something that _may_ be gained through spiritual trances, but I think there usually is a way he could be faking it,” he said. “But, he’s a good dude so it’s cool,” he said, shrugging.

Matt nodded. “Has there ever been anything you just _can’t_ explain away? Like, something there’s seriously very little chance he’d faked it?” he asked.

Andy nodded. “A few times I think he’s telling the truth, but one will always stand out to me.” Andy shook his head in wonder. “It was on a paranormal investigation once. I’m not usually involved in those, but I was along for the trip and Pete’s client claimed something about small, shadowy figures darting around in the dark. Gabe was setting up for the ritual he was doing in the hallway. We were all there for the ritual, sitting in a circle for him to ‘draw energy’ or some shit,” he said, waving a hand. “He hadn’t even lit anything on fire, so he wasn’t smoking already or anything,” he joked. “And he was just setting stuff up and then looked up at me and then looked over my shoulder and smiled, looking a little confused, and started talking. We were all looking at him and the empty space behind me and _nobody_ was there, but he was all ‘hey there dude, what’re you doing here?’ and he asked ‘why aren’t you in bed, it’s really late, you know?’ and then smiled and laughed and went all ‘alright, little man, get some rest if you’re so tired’ and shook his head, chuckling as he went back to what he was doing,” Andy said.

Matt blinked. “Whoa, what was it?” he asked.

Andy shot him a look that clearly said ‘I’m still freaked’. “We all looked at him and went all ‘what the fuck, dude?’ and he just looked at us all confused and asked what was so weird about him telling the client’s son to go back to bed so we could do the ritual.”

Matt gaped. “Dude, he didn’t even realize it wasn’t the client’s kid?” he asked, and Andy shook his head.

“He seemed really shaken up about it. He said he wasn’t even trying to contact any spirits, he honestly didn’t know it wasn’t the client’s kid got curious. The client didn’t even have a son, they had daughters,” he added. “There was no record of a little boy dying or being killed there, they couldn’t find police records of a kid missing or anthing. We investigated all we could but we never found anything to explain the boy. Gabe said all he did was walk up, holding a teddy bear, wearing airplane pajamas and when he asked what he was doing there and the boy just said ‘nothing’, and when he asked why he wasn’t asleep, the boy said he couldn’t fall asleep, even though he was really tired. Then Gabe claims when he told him to go on to bed if he was that tired, the boy just nodded and turned and headed down the hall behind me and walked into a room through the open door, so Gabe assumed he went to bed.”

Matt shook his head. “Whoa, dude. That’s amazing.”

“It was insane. I’ll never forget it as long as I live,” he said, and Matt nodded.

“Well, maybe after tonight we can add a UFO sighting, huh?” he asked, and Andy scoffed.

“Ghosts I can allow for, but UFOs are NOT Alien space ships!”

Matt shrugged. “Whatever you think, dude,” he said, standing. “So, wanna come see the camp?” he asked, nodding at the door as he unzipped it and headed out. Andy just sighed and followed.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
“Brendon! Get down!” 

Andy came out, only to smirk when he saw what Patrick as shouting at. Brendon had climbed up on top of a large boulder pile, bare assed naked. “Sweet ass, Urie!” Andy called, chuckling.

Brendon smirked. “Come on, you’ve got a hot ass too. Get naked with me!” he cried.

Andy chuckled. “My dick’s too big, yours would feel ashamed of itself,” he shouted and Brendon scoffed.

“My dick is perfectly adequate! You totally stuff your pants anyhow, you have to! You’re tiny!” he called down. “You’re five and a half feet tall, how is it possible anybody that small has a dick as big as yours looks!?” he cried.

Andy snorted. “Patrick’s is bigger!” he called, and Patrick glared at Andy.

Matt grinned. “Really now?” He smirked, slinging an arm each around Patrick and Andy’s shoulders. “I offer myself as an impartial judge,” he said, grinning.

Patrick shrugged him off. “Don’t offer things I can’t accept,” he grumbled, glaring up at Brendon. “If you get cacti in your ass, I WILL NOT pull out the spines!” he cried before turning to stomp back to his tent.

Matt sighed. “Why’s the hot one taken?” he asked, and Andy glared up at him.

“The hot ‘one’?” he asked, glaring.

Matt smirked. “What, you want me to call you hot?” he asked, and Andy grumbled, shrugging him off. “I’ll call you hot if you join your buddy and get naked!” he called, jogging after him. “Come on, Hurley! I’ll even think of funny names to call your dick!” he offered. He followed him with a grin. “What if I call you ‘Hottie Hurley’ all night instead of your name?” he asked, giggling at the curses the short man grumbled as he lead the way.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
As the sun was setting, Patrick called them all together, glad they were finally clothed. “Listen,” he started and everybody made obnoxious noises just to annoy him. “Children,” he snapped. “Alright, we’re going out in teams. I’m keeping my ass here to watch at the base setup. Joe,” he looked at him. “You and Andy go with Matt. Spencer’s going to film you guys and Jon’s gonna set up some good remote microphones for you. He also is giving Joe his parabolic microphone,” he said, and they nodded.

“Brendon, you go with Gabe, Ryan, and Jon. Gabe’s gonna try and call on some shit or something.” He glared at them. “Only Gabe smokes anything, got it?!” he demanded and Brendon and Ryan nodded solemnly. “I will beat you all if every one of you gets stoned and does this investigation high. I want a good, professional investigation here.”

Gabe raised a hand. “I’m actually not doing any spiritual callings tonight, so we’re good,” he said, and Patrick hummed.

“Alright, good.” He looked at Pete. “Are you going with them or staying here?” he asked, and Pete huffed.

“You honestly think I’m leaving you _alone_ in the desert at night?!” he asked. He rolled his eyes. “Of course I’m staying here. Do you know what would happen to me if I were to come back and find you half-eaten by coyotes?!” he asked.

Patrick glared. “So it’s better for us to both be eaten?” he asked, and Pete nodded seriously.

“I’d rather be eaten with you than lose you.”

Brendon smiled. “Awwwww,” he said, and Patrick rolled his eyes but smiled as he slid an arm around Pete’s waist.

“Alright, me and Pete will be here if anything goes down. We’ll be watching your video feeds and listening to the audio,” he said, then grinned. “So feel free to complain about how bad you hate Pete so he can hear it,” he joked, and Pete rolled his eyes from his side. “So, everybody ready?” he asked, and they all nodded. “Alright, good investigation guys,” he said as they gathered their stuff and left.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
“So, what are we looking for?” Jon asked as he shifted his sound bag, looking over at Brendon, who had the flashlight.

Brendon turned to look at him. “We’re basically just seeing what Gabe can find spiritually or something. Psychic evidence of visitors or something.”

Ryan nodded, turning his camera on Jon. “The voice you’re hearing is our new sound guy for this investigation,” he said, and Jon waved.

“And that voice you heard introduce me is Legs, the camera man,” he said, and Ryan glared, turning the camera on himself. 

“My name is not Legs,” he said flatly, then went back to filming Gabe and Brendon walking ahead of them. “So, Gabe, feeling any psychic vibrations or whatever?” he asked, and Jon chuckled.

Gabe snorted. “I’m not feeling it now, but we’ll be at the site for the ceremony soon,” he said, and Brendon snickered.

“So, what is it this time?” he asked, and Gabe rolled his eyes.

“No spiritual journeys this time, just a general ‘convening with mother earth’ type ceremony,” he explained.

“You know,” Jon said. “I haven’t even asked what we’re filming this for,” he said.

Brendon looked back while walking. “Well, for our own archival and then if we catch anything, we have a website. The company site has a page for evidence,” he said. He grinned. “You should check it out next time you get a chance. We’ve got some pretty cool stuff on there,” he said. “There was this case a few years ago in Asia where we found a hair sample on a Yeti expedition that was never matched to any known animal,” he said, grinning. “The DNA sample is close to human but the strands don’t match any known human hair type.”

Jon nodded. “So you guys really believe this stuff?” he asked, looking at them.

Ryan shrugged. “I didn’t want to at first, I thought it was all bull, but some of the things I’ve seen are insane,” he said. “In Siberia, there were some footprints we couldn’t cast because they were in the snow were just…” he shook his head. “No bear did that. It was just… insane, man,” he said. “But I’m more skeptical about some things. Large, unexplained primates I’m sold on. But that’s Andy’s area of specialty, the UFO’s… meh,” he made a face. “I’m not sold. I don’t know because a few times we’ve seen things, but the two other specialties of ours, I’m sold,” he said.

Gabe nodded. “Even Patrick the lab geek, who should only really be sold on Bigfoot, is sold on ghosts,” he said.

Brendon nodded. “Oh yeah. A few good investigations with Pete and Gabe and you can’t not believe in the ghosts,” he agreed.

Jon hummed. “Ghosts, huh?” he asked. “I can maybe see the Yeti or Bigfoot or whatever thing, because there’s so much that can’t be disproven, but I’m not so big on believing in ghosts and the only aliens I know of are the ones that do the gardening at my apartment complex,” he said, and Gabe snorted.

“Trust me, I’m skeptical about the UFOs too, but you learn to not be too skeptical in this line of work,” he said.

Brendon grinned. “Hey guys, what are the bets on the client getting his arm broken before the weeks out?” he asked, and Ryan and Gabe both chuckled.

“I’d say three to one,” Gabe said, and Ryan snorted.

“Fifty bucks says he gets a black eye,” he said, and Brendon chuckled.

“I’ll take you up on that bet, Ryan Ross.” Brendon reached out to shake hands with Ryan. “As damn sexy as Matt Mixon is, even Andrew ‘I don’t need sex’ Hurley would jump at the chance to bone him,” he said. “God knows I would jump at the flirting if I were you, ‘Legs’,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Ryan snorted. “I like short guys,” he said, and Brendon smirked, wiggling his eyebrows. “Short guys who aren’t ten year old idiots,” he said, and Brendon snorted.

“Eh, I’m still hoping Spencer Smith will stop turning me down anyways. You’re not pretty enough for me,” he said, and Ryan glared.

Jon hummed. “Smith’s the tall one with the pretty blue eyes, right?” he asked, and Brendon nodded, grinning. “Dude, I’d bug him till he gave in, if I were you. That dude’s hot,” he said, and Ryan gasped. “No, you’re pretty sweet looking too, but dude… your friend is _hot_.”

Brendon grinned. “Of the ones you’ve seen, who’s the hottest, Jon?” he asked, and Jon chuckled.

“Great evidence we’re capturing here,” he said, then hummed. “For body, I’d probably say you,” he said, and Brendon looked surprised. “Face, I’d say your buddy, Spencer.”

Gabe chuckled. “Brendon, why do you seem shocked someone thinks you’ve got a good body?” he asked.

Brendon snorted. “Do you think I get dates often, Gabe? Really?” he asked.

Gabe grinned. “I’d do you if I wasn’t already doing somebody else at work,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Brendon snorted. “Friends don’t fuck, it fucks shit up,” he said, waving a finger. “But thanks for the offer, I’m about to the point I’d take a blowjob from a _girl_ ,” he said, making a face.

Ryan snorted. “There’s nothing wrong with girls,” he said. “And really Gabe, you’d sleep with _that_?” he asked, pointing at Brendon.

Gabe nodded. “Hell yeah, have you see those lips?” he asked, winking at Brendon, who laughed. “Although, if we were comparing, I’d say for body, I’d go for you, Ryan. Face, I’d go for Patrick,” he said.

Ryan hummed. “Patrick is really pretty. And short,” he added, grinning.

Brendon snorted. “Pete Wentz is a lucky man.”

Gabe smirked. “That’s for damn sure. A little nerd with a feisty attitude and those lips?!” He shook his head. “Recipe for amazing sex, my friends.”

“Why Ryan’s body?” Brendon asked, making a face. “He’s all… skinny,” he said.

Gabe smirked. “Have you ever had long, skinny legs wrapped around you, dude?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows. “Besides, Ryan’s the closest body type and size to Mikey.”

Ryan turned to Jon. “So you are up to speed,” he started. “Gabe’s sleeping Mikey, who is Gerard’s brother. Gerard is Brian’s boyfriend of five years. And Brian is the owner, who hired you,” he said. “Mikey’s a research assistant like Brendon, but he didn’t come with this time.”

Brendon nodded. “It is true though. You’re both around the same height, both really skinny, and both seem to be more pretty than smart,” he said, and Ryan glared.

“You did not just compare me to a Way in intelligence,” he said, and Jon looked confused. “Mikey and Gerard are phenomenally dumb,” he said, and Gabe interrupted.

“Hey, they’re not dumb… just absent minded,” he said. He smirked. “Besides, Mikey isn’t a dork-ass like his brother. Gerard’s lame, Mikey’s my kinda party kid,” he said, grinning.

Brendon turned to Jon. “Meaning he’s a whore and so is Gabe,” he said, and Jon nodded, looking slightly less confused. “Although, lately he’s been settled down more. The way I hear it, you two actually have been going out and _not_ fucking later that night recently,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows at Gabe.

Gabe sighed. “Well, I’m thirty-one and he’s thirty. Maybe it is about time I ask him about a real relationship,” he said. He shrugged. “His aura vibrates at a great frequency for a relationship. We’d be good together, I think,” he said. “I have this sense about people,” he explained to Jon. “Their auras sometimes tell a lot. Like Pete and Patrick? If you didn’t notice, they’re complete opposites, they hate a lot of the things about each other that make them who they are, and yet they can’t help but be ridiculously in love with each other, even if Patrick can’t seem to fathom why he even _likes_ Pete,” he said, and Jon nodded.

“They seem kinda… volatile,” he said.

Gabe nodded. “When two people’s auras are too much alike, they are drawn to each other but don’t get along. Usually anyhow. Like… parents and their kids usually vibrate on similar frequencies and it’s mostly because of the unconditional love that they fight. No kid and their parent ever sees eye to eye, you know? But they love unconditionally. Patrick and Pete’s auras are kind of asymmetrical but still really alike. Pete’s got a pretty dim aura to be such a vibrant person. It has a lot to do with his depression problems,” he explained. “Pete’s too caught in his own mind and yet very outgoing, so his aura is really weak,” he said. “Patrick’s aura is very similar and vibrates almost the same, but it’s much stronger. He’s a lot more internalized unless he’s in a position of leadership, but he’s more stable minded. They both clash and usually only Patrick lashes out, but they both can’t help how fucking attached to each other they are even when they argue,” he said.

Brendon beamed. “It’s cool when Gabe gets reads on people,” he said to Jon, who just nodded.

“That’s pretty cool actually.”

Gabe nodded. “The downside is I gotta be pretty in touch with a person to get a decent aura read. Like… they have to be a friend or coworker or family member that I see very often. I have to really know their personality and stuff to get a decent read. I can tell from you that you’re pretty laid back and your aura has a really steady pulsation, but as far as a decent read, I’m pretty much not able,” he said. He nodded at Brendon. “Despite how wild and crazy Brendon is, his aura is pretty tame. It’s like he gets it all out through energy and his aura just has to hang out. It also makes him almost impossible to not get along with,” he noted.

“Yours too, isn’t it?” Brendon asked, and Gabe nodded.

“Yeah, that’s why me and Mikey work well. Mikey’s got an easy to get along with personality, but his aura is really standoffish. But my tame aura and his active aura would match well. They’d cancel each other out some,” he said. “And they do. Even if we’re not in a relationship, we’re able to have a friends-with-benefits relationship without the usual issues. I just sorta think I want more now,” he said, shrugging. “It’s all really cool when I can take the time to explain it all.”

Ryan snorted. “And when Gerard _eats_ you for screwing around with his brother, you’ll really wish you’d said something about a relationship sooner,” he pointed out.

Gabe grinned. “What big bro doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” he said, and Brendon snorted.

“It might hurt you though-“

“Holy shit!” They all turned to see Jon staring off into the distance with wide eyes and his mouth hanging open. They all turned and gaped as well.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Matt grinned, watching Andy’s hair blowing in the breeze. He shivered and Matt chuckled. “Here, dude,” he said, taking off his hoodie. He handed it to Andy, who eyed him suspiciously, but pulled it on, too cold to even argue.

Joe snorted. “Well doesn’t this feel like high school,” he said, and Andy glared at him.

Matt smirked. “Just wait till I pull a ‘yawn and stretch’, then it’ll really be high school,” he said, winking at Andy, who narrowed his eyes before turning forward.

Joe watched Andy walking a bit faster and chuckled. “Dude,” he said to Matt. “It’s funny and all, but really… don’t piss him off,” he said, and Matt waved a hand.

“Ah, I’m just teasing. He’s cute when he’s pissy,” he said, smirking at the silhouette of the short man as he tugged the jacket close around him. “And hot all the time.”

Joe shook his head. “No, dude, I’m serious. He’ll kick your ass,” he said, and Matt shot him a disbelieving look. “No, really,” he said with a serious expression. “Kick. Your. Ass!” he emphasized.

Matt scoffed. “Yeah right,” he said, jogging to catch up with Andy.

Joe smirked when Matt slung an arm around Andy’s shoulders and Andy elbowed him in the ribs. He caught up with Matt and slapped his back. “Told ya!”

“Holy shit!”

They both looked up and saw Andy staring at something on the horizon. When they got close to him, they both stopped, staring as they saw it as well.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Patrick moaned softly, curling his fingers in the ends of Pete’s hair. “Pete,” he mumbled against Pete’s lips as he tried to pull back from the kisses Pete kept pushing on him. “Pete, we need to pay attention,” he said, gasping slightly as Pete shifted, kissing along his jaw, just how Patrick liked it. “Peter,” he tried weakly, but Pete just tugged him closer, practically pulling him out of his chair.

“Patrick, fuck the screens, they record,” he supplied, sneaking a hand up under Patrick’s jacket as Patrick tugged at his hair.

Patrick groaned but gave in, kissing Pete hard, moaning when Pete sucked on his lip. He leaned closer, pushing into Pete’s space, only to have their make-out session interrupted as Pete slipped off of the cooler he was sitting on, taking him and Patrick both sprawling on the desert sand. They both landed hard, Patrick half on top of Pete, who cried out, reaching for his head. “Shit, Pete!” he gasped, sitting up quickly. Pete sat up, groaning as he held a hand to the back of his head. “Peter? You okay?” he asked quickly, reaching up to feel. He knelt to look around the back of Pete’s head, but was pleased when he didn’t see any blood. “I think it’s just a bump,” he said, and Pete whined, leaning into Patrick.

“That sucked so hard,” he said, then looked at Patrick, who sat back on his knees. “I was really enjoying that,” he said, huffing as he pulled himself to his feet. Patrick laughed, taking Pete’s hand as he stood up.

“I know, but I’m kinda more worried about your head than interrupted kisses,” he said, sitting Pete in the chair he was in as he stood behind him with a flashlight, checking to make sure he wasn’t bleeding. “I think you’re okay-“

“Patrick!” Pete cried out, pointing at one of the screens. Patrick looked up and he could see that the camera, he wasn’t sure whose, was bobbing like they were running. “The audio!” Pete cried, and Patrick dove for the speakers they rarely used, plugging them in.

“Holy shit did you see that! DID YOU SEE?!” the heard Brendon’s voice ring out.

“Dude-“ They heard Gabe stop mid sentence and the camera flickered around, settling on a disturbing sight. From their vantage point on a ridge, they could see clearly in the distance something that Patrick never thought he’d _actually_ see.

A motherfucking _mushroom cloud_.

Pete just stared. “Camera two,” he said, and Patrick plugged in the audio as he saw Spencer’s camera lighting up and realized they were filming a set of lights in the sky. 

Patrick gasped when he saw the formation. “Holy shit,” they heard Andy cry out. “What the _fuck_?!?”

Joe sounded dejected, shockingly. “Oh man,” he said, and the camera spun to him.

“What?” Spencer’s voice asked.

Joe looked at the camera. “If you’re watching, Patrick, good news and bad news! Good news, Matt’s not yanking our chain. Bad news, I’ve heard of these. They’re a secret project the military THINKS I haven’t hacked into the files of,” he said, then paused. “Oh yeah, can we edit that out and completely obliterate the file because I’m almost positive I can be ‘silenced’ for knowing about these,” he said.

Pete sighed. “Well fuck,” he said, and Patrick shrugged.

“Dude, we found a secret military testing ground and a secret military project,” he said. “What the hell are you not excited about?” he asked.

Pete sighed. “I want aliens,” he said, huffing. “A pet one! The ones with big eyes and funny heads!” he said brightly. “I shall name him Oswald!”

Patrick just stared. “You realize _intergalactic space travelers_ are probably quite intelligent and wouldn’t take kindly to being domesticated, right?” he asked.

Pete gave him an innocent smile. “But I’ll buy him a cool outfit and everything!” 

Patrick just rolled his eyes and grabbed the radio. “Alright guys, this investigation is a wrap. We’ll report back to Brian and get an earlier flight. Probably tomorrow afternoon. Sorry for ruining your plan and disproving your report, Mixon,” he said.

Matt turned to the camera and grinned. “Fuck that, this is _awesome_!” he cried, dancing around happily.

Pete watched with wide eyes as he tugged Andy around and kissed him straight on the mouth out of excitement. “Uh-oh,” he said, then turned and hid his eyes in Patrick’s shirt.

Patrick just cringed, covering Pete’s ears against the sounds of pain coming from their client after such a move.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Matt groaned, falling flat on his cot. “How do you hit so hard?” he whined, and Andy rolled his eyes, walking over with a wet cloth. “No really,” he looked up at him. “How are you so fucking _tiny_ and you busted my lip!?” he asked, cringing when it opened up the cut again.

Andy snorted. “You’re a pussy,” he said, offering him the cloth. Matt pouted and he rolled his eyes. “I’m not dabbing your lip for you. I just _punched you in the face_ , do you think I’m gonna make it better?” he asked.

Matt sat up, grumbling as he took the wet cloth. “You suck. Why are the pretty ones always isnane?” he asked and Andy shot him a look.

“ _Pretty_?” he asked pointedly. Matt shrugged. “No really, I’m not pretty. Ryan is pretty. Spencer is pretty.”

Matt shrugged. “You’ve got pretty eyes and a great body,” he said, and Andy rolled his eyes yet again. “No really,” he said, then eyed him. “Although I’m wondering if you’re human, cause you’re way too skinny to throw a hook like that,” he said, and Andy chuckled.

“You’d be shocked at the power of yoga, weight training, and vegan dieting,” he said.

Matt hummed. “You weight train? How are you so skinny?” he asked.

Andy shrugged. “You don’t overdo it or do the workouts to bulk up, is all. A lot of running,” he added. He eyed Matt. “Obviously, you try to bulk up.”

Matt shrugged. “Generally, muscles are sexy, right?” he asked.

Andy hummed. “Well I’m really small and short, so I’d look stupid,” he pointed out.

Matt nodded. “Yeah, you’ve got this hot little feminine body for such a bad ass dude,” he said, and Andy sighed.

“I look like a boy’s head on a girl’s body when I take a break from working out. My ass and thighs are so fucking fat if I break my diet,” he said, shaking his head.

Matt shrugged. “If you’re vegan, how much more of a ‘diet’ do you need?” he asked, sitting up. “Now that we’re in the tent and there’s no breeze, it’s getting hot,” he said, tugging off his long sleeve shirt. Andy just stared, eyes widening as he saw the rippling muscles exposed. He’d known Matt had big arms, but _holy shit_. Matt eyed him curiously, watching the way Andy’s eyes raked over his torso. He saw the spots of pink blending downwards into his beard and smirked, flexing unnecessarily as he shifted. “See something you like?” he asked, and Andy’s eyes snapped up.

“I- um-“ he turned bright red. “You look good,” he said, trying to sound casual. He stood up and turned to walk across to his own cot, hoping to avoid feeling more embarrassed.

Matt just smirked, watching him walking away. “You look pretty damn good too, from this angle,” he said, and Andy turned back, glaring. Matt just grinned, stretching obviously. “You’ve got a sweet ass,” he said, and Andy glowered, clearly annoyed at how hot Matt was and how annoying he was as well.

“Um, stop staring at my ass,” he tried, and Matt just smirked, standing up. 

Matt walked over to Andy, who looked up, up, up, until he was looking straight up. “That what you really want?” he asked, looking down at him, barely a few inches between them. “I’ll back off if you want,” he said, lowering his voice. 

Andy fought to hide the shiver that ran up his spine as Matt’s breath brushed his hair. “Back off, then,” he said, and Matt smirked.

“You don’t want that, do you?” he teased, but stepped back, allowing space. “Like this?” he asked.

Andy just growled. “Fuck, you make me ill,” he cried, then threw himself at Matt, dragging him down to kiss him.

Matt squeaked in alarm, but didn’t even stumble as he leaned down. The height difference was comical as he bent pretty much _over_ to kiss Andy. He broke the kiss and gasped for air. “Holy shit, I didn’t think that would actually work- Mmmph!” Andy silenced him with another kiss. Matt groaned, sliding his hands all over Andy’s body, feeling ever curve that the baggy gym shorts and his own hoodie hid.

“Think the cot will work, or go for the floor?” Andy choked out, sliding his hands over Matt’s muscled, sculpted body hungrily.

Matt just groaned. “Hell if I know,” he said in a rush, then met Andy ‘s lips for another kiss, quickly hooking the back of Andy’s thighs, shocking him as he picked him up without any strain.

Andy moaned, wrapping his legs around Matt, kissing him fiercely. “Oh God, fuck me,” he gasped, moaning.

Matt grinned. “Hell yeah!” he said, only to be silenced by another kiss.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Brendon’s head popped up as he heard a strange sound outside the tent. “What the fuck?” he grumbled.

Ryan grumbled, rolling over. “Huh?” he asked, and Spencer sat up, blinking.

“The fuck is that noise?” he asked, and Brendon slid out of his sleeping bag. “Don’t open the door!” he hissed. “Are you stupid?!”

Ryan scoffed. “Dude, what if it’s an animal?” he asked. “It’ll eat you.”

Brendon peeked through the door part, leaving the screen part shut, then hummed. “Uh… _ew_!” he hissed.

“What?” Spencer asked, sliding out of his bag. He walked over and peeked out as well, looking over Brendon’s head. His eyes bugged out. “EW! Is that even _possible_ -“

“It can’t be,” Brendon said, shaking his head.

“What is it?” Ryan asked.

Spencer waved to him. “Come over and see,” he said. After a minute, he and Brendon looked over, and Ryan wasn’t coming. “What?” he asked.

Ryan cleared his throat. “I’m not wearing anything in my sleeping bag,” he said.

Brendon gaped. “Ew, are you like… in your boxers?” he asked.

Spencer looked grossed out. “He doesn’t wear underwear,” he said, and Brendon gaped.

“That’s almost as bad as that-“ he turned back to look out, only to cringed. “Okay, no, not nearly as gross as that,” he said to Spencer, who nodded.

Ryan groaned. “What is it?!” he asked, clearly curious.

Brendon giggled and Spencer smirked, eyes twinkling. “Kinky, kinky sex,” he said, and Brendon nodded.

“It looks to be Andy and the client,” he said. He looked back and tilted his head. “Man, that’s a really fucked up position,” he said, and Spencer looked, nodding.

Ryan looked disbelieving. “You can’t _see_ it,” he accused.

“They’re backlit. We see the silhouettes. They appear to be having sex standing but without a wall involved,” Spencer clarified. “Matt must be very strong or Andy is very light,” he mentioned.

Brendon scoffed. “Those noises, however, are very disturbing,” he answered. “I really hope I don’t sound like that during sex,” he said.

Ryan snorted. “You’ve barely had sex,” he said, and Brendon glared.

Spencer chuckled. “Aww, don’t worry, Bren,” he said, clapping his shoulder. “I’m sure your sex noises are very sexy,” he said, winking as he walked back to his cot.

Ryan just rolled his eyes at the dopey look on Brendon’s face as he watched Spencer walking. “Oh my God, I’m going back to bed,” he said, covering his head up with his sleeping bag flaps.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Patrick was woken by what could only be described as the sound of an animal being murdered violently by an old accordion. He sat up, only to frown when he saw Pete snickering out the tent flap. “Peter?”

Pete turned back. “Oh, Patrick!” he said, then walked over and shoved Patrick, sliding into his sleeping bag with him. “Yay, now I can snuggle,” he said from somewhere near Patrick’s shoulder.

Patrick whined, half asleep and still slow on the uptake. “What’s that God awful racket and why are you in my sleeping bag?” he asked.

Pete hummed happily, snuggled into Patrick, practically wrapped around him like an octopus. “Andy and Matt are having wild, kinky animal sex and I’m in the bag cause it’s cold and you’re warm and I love you,” he said, then kissed Patrick’s jaw. “You’re my Patrick.”

Patrick chuckled. “I really hope I don’t sound like that during sex,” he said simply, letting Pete curl around him with more ease.

Pete shook his head. “Nope. Your sex noises are hot, they sound like demented coyotes or something,” he said, and Patrick laughed softly.

“You’re something else, Pete.”

Pete hummed happily. “So I can stay?” he asked hopefully.

Patrick just kissed his head. “Sure, Pete.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
At the airport, everybody looked over when Matt came up with Andy, carrying a bag. Patrick eyed them curiously. “Can we help you?”

Andy kicked his bag towards Pete. “Mattie’s coming back with us,” he said, and Patrick hummed.

“Right, we’re taking home strays now?” he asked and Andy glowered.

“I called Brian, he says it’s okay and that Matt can come with us on our next trek. We’re going to Montana for some clients with a Bigfoot sighting. Matt wants to come with,” he argued.

Matt smirked. “Andy’s hot. Super very really hot,” he pointed out. Andy just blushed but gave him a dirty look when Matt slid an arm around his waist.

Pete chuckled. “Okay, I just have to say this,” he held up a hand, getting everybody’s attention. “Who else heard the goat being murdered by a mountain lion?” he asked and there were several snickers.

Andy flushed bright red. “Um, what?”

Brendon giggled. “The wild animal sex you two were up to. Dear lord, that was scary sounding,” he said.

Matt just shrugged. “You could only wish you got laid that good,” he said, and Andy glared up at him.

“Matt!” he cried and Matt gave him an innocent smile. “Oh my God, get on the plane,” he said in exasperation, dragging Matt after him by his hand.

Everybody snickered but Pete just shrugged. “Eh, when you find someone who’s amazing in the sack, you hang on to them,” he said, then leered at Patrick, who shot him a dirty look.

“If you ever expect me in bed with you again, you’ll not say the rest of what you’re thinking,” he threatened and Pete giggled.

“Okay!” He smacked Patrick’s cheek. “I’ll save you a seat beside me on the plane,” he said brightly, running towards the plane.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
“So,” Brian started as they sat in the board room. “How did Nevada turn out?” he asked.

Patrick chuckled. “Well, we caught some awesome footage of top secret military testing, but I have a feeling if we put that on the website, we’ll end up in Guantanamo. Otherwise, I’d call it misidentification,” he said.

Joe nodded. “Matt saw military testing, nothing more,” he said sadly.

Brian nodded. “And Matt, you came back because you want to join the Bigfoot hunt?” he asked.

Brendon smirked. “He actually came for the sex, but that’s his excuse,” he said, and Brian blinked. “Andy,” he pointed out, and Gerard actually looked up from his sketch.

“Dude…” he looked at Andy. “You hooked up on a mission?” he asked.

Andy shrugged. “I was the skeptic, I wasn’t working very hard,” he admitted.

Matt smirked. “I’m definitely convinced Andy is right in everything in the world,” he joked, slipping an arm around Andy’s shoulders.

Pete nodded. “Smart move. Agree with anything the person who controls when you get laid says,” he said and Patrick rolled his eyes.

“Then why do you never agree with anything I say?” he asked. “You only ever argue all the time.”

Pete smirked. “I like it when you get frustrated,” he said in a flirty voice and everybody stared.

“MOVING ON!” Brian cried. “Alright, so that was a bust. Next expedition is to Montana, as mentioned, to hunt for a Bigfoot.” He looked around. “Who’s going?”

“Obviously me,” Andy offered. “And Mattie,” he said, smirking up at the man practically glued to his side.

Brian just chuckled. “Leave it to ‘I don’t need sex’ Hurley to fall hopelessly in lust with a client and bring them back with him,” he teased then looked around. “Alright, who else?”

“Camera team, equipped with the brand new sound guy,” Ryan said and Jon smiled.

“Hi, I’m Jon to you who haven’t met me,” he said kindly.

Brian nodded, writing them down. “Alright, that’s five.”

Joe shrugged. “I’ll sit this one out. Mountains aren’t really my thing.”

Brendon bounced. “I’m in! I love Bigfoot missions!” he said happily

Gerard looked up. “There’s wolves in Montana right?” he asked, and Andy shrugged.

“Some, why?”

Gerard grinned. “Cause, I’m coming. I’m doing research on the difference between wolves and werewolves. I’m pretty sure I’ll see at least one of you eaten by a wolf, so I’ll get a good firsthand account of an attack.”

Brian shot him a look. “Gee, I’m not sure I’m happy with-“

“You aren’t the boss of me, your happiness doesn’t matter.” Brian shot him a look. “Brian, I love you lots, but no!” Gerard said. “I’m going.” He looked at Mikey. “Mikey’s coming too,” he said, and Mikey looked up, then seemed to think about it before shrugging.

“Okay.”

Gabe smirked. “Well, in that case, I offer myself to… to… contact Native American spirits! About the sasquatch!” he said brightly.

Gerard glowered. “You will not share a tent with Mikey.”

Mikey rolled his eyes. “Gerard, we talked last night and decided to be boyfriends,” he said pointedly.

Everybody watched with interest as Gerard Way shat twice and then died.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Pete smiled when Patrick walked into the lab. “Hey, waiting on me?” Patrick asked and Pete nodded.

“Why aren’t you going to Montana?” he asked.

Patrick sat down his files and smiled. “A lot to do from older cases,” he said. “Why aren’t you?”

Pete shrugged. “I wanted to get some research done for a case I’m doing in a few weeks.” He smiled. “So… we’re neither tragically busy right now?” he asked, and Patrick shook his head.

“No, why?” he asked, only to squeak when Pete shoved him against the desk in the corner, kissing him. “Pete!” he cried, only to gasp as Pete lifted him onto the desk. “Pete, not in the lab-“

“Not having sex,” Pete gasped out, kissing Patrick harder. “Just- just a little- touch.”

“Hey Patrick-“ They flew apart as Brian waltzed in, catching them both straightening their clothes and each other’s hair, trying to hide their swollen, red lips. He eyed him. “Riiight…” He sighed. “Patrick, I need an analysis on this case here,” he looked at his pages. “Number 5576, I think,” he said and Patrick nodded, clearing his throat.

“Right, um, I’ll do it now,” he said quickly, turning to peck Pete’s lips, ears turning red as he hopped off the desk.

Pete smirked. “See you later, Trick,” he said, and Patrick smiled bashfully.

“Bye.”

Brian rolled his eyes. “You two are ridiculous,” he said, and Pete scoffed.

“Maybe Gerard would like you better if you ambushed him with kisses at work every once in a while,” he said pointedly. “He might love you a lot, but he really doesn’t like you very much. Ridiculousness would make your love life better, Schechter,” he said, walking past him to leave.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Brian came into Gerard and Mikey’s office and smiled when he saw Gerard sketching. “Hey Gee? Wanna go get some lunch?” he asked and Gerard looked up.

“You want to go out?” he asked suspiciously. “Why?”

Brian shrugged. “Thought it might be nice. Just me and you,” he suggested and Gerard hummed.

“Well, I’m kind of working,” he said, and Brian sighed.

“No, it’s okay,” he said, standing up. He stopped at the doorway and turned back. He shook his head and walked over. “Hey, I’m coming on the Montana trip,” he said, and Gerard frowned.

“Really? You hate camping though,” he said in confusion.

Brian nodded. “But think about it. Beautiful mountains, you and me, a little tent, a camp fire…” he smiled, reaching out for Gerard’s hand. “It sounds sorta romantic,” he said, and Gerard chuckled.

“I’m going in hopes of seeing a wolf attack and you’re talking a romantic getaway?” he asked and Brian smiled.

“Wolves turn me on,” he joked and Gerard laughed, smiling.

“Well, it seems Mikey’s gonna be distracted so I will have a tent to myself,” he said and Brian smiled.

“Excellent,” he said, leaning across the desk to kiss Gerard, who seemed a bit surprised.

Gerard took a breath. “What’s with all the affection, Brian? You’re not being yourself,” he said.

Brian shrugged. “Just appreciating five years of my life,” he said simply, earning a beautiful smile and another kiss.

“I like it,” Gerard admitted, reaching up to hold Brian’s face as he kissed him at a better angle.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
When they landed on the airstrip at a small town’s airport, they all expected to wait a while for their ride. However, when they got into the terminal, they saw two guys waiting. Only. Nobody else was there besides those two guys and a lady at the front desk.

“You must be Ray and Bob,” Brian said as he walked forward towards the guys.

They both stood. The one with the ponytail smiled. “Yeah, I’m Ray, this is Bob,” he said, nodding at his friend. “Was the flight okay?” he asked.

Brian nodded. “Yeah, and thanks for meeting us here. It would’ve been a bitch to try and get a ride out to your ranch.”

Bob shook his head. “Nobody would’ve taken you, I doubt. It’s a long ways out of town up in the hills,” he said.

“Well, we’ll get our gear and load up so we can get started,” Brian said, and they all headed to get their stuff so they could load up.

When they got outside, they all stared at the trucks in front of them. “I’m seeing a math problem here,” Gerard said, eyeing the trucks. “There’s twelve of us and at the most, ten seats here,” he said, nodding at the crew cab trucks.

Bob looked up from tossing a bag in the back of one of them. “Huh,” he said, eying them. “Someone can sit in somebody’s lap,” he said, shrugging. “Or four to the backseat. I mean, you’ve got a few skinny ones,” he said and Gerard laughed.

“You hear that Mikey and Ryan?” he asked, earning dirty looks.

“Andy can just sit in my lap,” Matt offered, and Andy bit his lip, shooting him an absolutely _filthy_ look.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you,” he said, earning a smirk and a not-so-subtle ass-grab.

“Oh yeah, Hurley.”

Brian shot them looks, then finished passing Bob the bags and cases. “Alright, load up,” Bob said, looking over at Ray. “Hey, you got enough diesel?” he asked and Ray nodded.

“Yeah, I filled up before we left. Why? You gotta stop?”

Bob nodded. “Yeah, you go ahead and put them up in the house. It’ll be too late by the time I get there for them to head out.”

When they were loaded up, Gerard, Brian, Mikey, Gabe, and Brendon were all in the truck with Bob. “So,” Gerard said, wrapping his arm around the headrest of the passenger seat, where Brian was sitting. “Why will fueling up take so much time out of our trip?” he asked.

Bob chuckled. “Well, the only gas station is on the other side of town. And it’s a few miles to town from here. And then a good fifteen miles up into the hills to our ranch,” he said. “We’re adding another forty-five minutes to fuel up.”

Brian looked over. “So, when you say it’s a ranch, what do you guys do up there?” he asked.

Gabe snickered. “What do you think two men with a ranch in the mountains do up there, Brian?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows, only to be elbowed by Mikey, who was in his lap.

Bob chuckled. “Nah, none of that,” he said, shooting Gabe a look in the rearview mirror. “We take in rescued animals,” he answered. “A lot of farms and stuff are run by old people who’s kids left to go somewhere with more people. When they get too old to take care of their animals, the state has to round them all up and if nobody wants them, they all get either put down or, if they’re livestock, slaughtered for their meat. Me and Ray take a lot of them.”

Brendon looked green. “Please tell me there will be no killing going on while we’re there,” he said, shuddering. 

Bob chuckled. “Nah, don’t worry little dude.”

Brian eyed Brendon and rolled his eyes. “So, which of you spotted the thing we’re hunting?” he asked.

Bob clenched his jaw. “We both did. Something had got into the goat pen, and we thought it was coyotes, so we sat out one night with our guns, but just around sundown, we saw this… this thing.” He shuddered. “At first I thought it was a bear, but when it came over the fence, I put the scope on it and saw it was on two legs. Ray wanted me to shoot it, but I was worried it was somebody in a suit or something,” he said.

“Good choice,” Gerard said. “You have no clue how stupid I think hoaxers are just because most people want a body.”

“I’m not Andy, but this isn’t the usual area for these things,” Mikey mentioned. “Usually it’s in the Northwest rainforests, the Ozarks, and the deep south swamps. Not the central Rockies,” he mentioned.

Brian nodded. “That’s why I’m so interested. This is an unusual area, smaller populations, and less hospitable terrain than the rainforests and swamps.”

Bob nodded. “Yeah, there’s lakes and streams, but there’s less forest and not nearly as much smaller game for something big to live on. The elevations are high, the plains are open, winter is real long and real harsh, and the large predators all have to hunt the same small animals.”

Gerard leaned forward. “What are the chances someone is attacked by wolves?” he asked.

Bob raised an eyebrow. “It’s possible, but I really hope nobody is eaten by wolves,” he said. “Not many stray out this way, the main packs are all up in Canada, but it’s possible.”

“Oh no, I can deal with one of the guys losing a hand or foot or something if I get to witness an actual wolf attack first hand. I mean, surely enough of us will scare it off before it _kills_ them,” he said and Brian rolled his eyes.

“Oh my God, you’re an idiot.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
“So,” Ray started as the unloaded the truck. “Tonight you guys can stay here at the house. It’s kinda too late for the hike up into the hills,” he said. “But, I can take you out to show you the fence it climbed over,” he said. “Well have time for that.”

Andy grinned. “Great. God, this is a good case. I can feel it. This is the same way I felt about Bhutan,” he said, looking over at Matt. “THAT was a killer trip.”

Matt shrugged. “I’m just along for the trip. I’m not technically an employee,” he said. “I was one of their recent cases that turned out to be a bust and hung around for the company,” he said, grinning as he smacked Andy’s ass on the way past him to get more cases from the back of the truck.

“Mixon!” Andy barked warningly, blushing as he carried two bags up onto the porch.

Jon laughed. “I’m new too, but I’m actually hired. I just only got hired on the Nevada case where we picked up Mixon,” he said. 

When they got all the cases and bags on the porch, they went to carrying them inside. “So, where will we be crashing? You got like… some room for us to camp out back or something?” Andy asked.

Ray shook his head. “You can crash down here. I mean, there’s a lot of you but I figure if you’ve got sleeping bags and stuff you can just chill out on the floor and fight over the couches.”

“Spencer, I’ll share the couch with you,” Ryan said, tossing his bag onto the couch to claim his spot.

“Deal,” Spencer said, dropping his bag on the other end.

Andy just eyed Matt. “I guess we’re on the floor then.”

Matt grinned. “Our sleeping bag is really warm and soft,” he said, nodding.

Jon smirked. “I happen to know Brendon has an air mattress and I’m pretty sure he’ll share with me, since we’re sharing our tent when we get out there tomorrow,” he said.

Ryan huffed. “Brendon sucks. I want an air mattress.”

“Could’ve asked to borrow Pete’s,” Andy pointed out. 

Ray came back, changed out of his coat and boots. “So, the others should be here soon, but if anybody wants to volunteer to help, I’m starting dinner.”

“I’ll help!” Jon said, jumping up. Everybody else just started unpacking and checking all the gear.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
When they got into the house, Bob lead Brian and Gerard to the kitchen. “Hey, Ray, I’m gonna take them out to the goat pasture to show them the fence the thing climbed over. Just to give them an idea how big I’m talking,”

Ray nodded. “Okay, grab your gun before you head out and be back as fast as you can, dinner’s almost done,” he said.

Bob nodded. “Yeah, we’ll be quick. Are the keys on the Ranger?” he asked, then laughed when Ray tossed them to him. “Thanks.” He turned to Brian. “Grab your specialist and come on,” he instructed.

They got Andy and all went out back, climbing onto the ATV Bob had. Andy hopped into the loading bed on the back, since there was only room for three on the seat.

They rode out on a path around the barn behind the house, out past a horse pasture, and around a small pond until they saw a barbed wire fence ahead. When they got to a gate, Bob stopped. “Alright, you see out there?” he asked, pointing out across a sloping field. “See those goats?” he asked, pointing to a cluster of goats. “The biggest one is about three feet tall,” he said, eliciting nods. “Alright, you see that fence row behind them?” he asked, pointing. “It stepped over the fence without even jumping. It just stepped over.” He shook his head. “Damndest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Andy hummed. “So we’re looking at about seven foot tall,” he noted. “Sounds about right. Dark fur?” he asked.

Bob nodded. “Nearly black. I couldn’t see detail, it was far off. Even in the scope it wasn’t clear.”

“Well, sounds like a classic case,” Andy said. “Thanks, now I’ve got a good idea of what to look for,” he said and Bob nodded.

“It’s what we’ve got you out here for, I may as well offer up all the information I can.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
After dinner, everybody was claiming space on the floor to sleep. “Sorry about the floor crowding, but there’s no fireplace upstairs. I mean, we’ve got shit tons of blankets instead of heaters in our rooms.”

Gabe grinned. “It’s okay, we’ve got body heat to share,” he said, tugging Mikey against his side lecherously.

Ray laughed. “Are all of you just coupled up? It’s pretty ridiculous,” he said.

“Well, three couples here and we’ve got one more back home.” Gabe tugged at Mikey’s hand.

“It’s just not something we’re used to,” Bob pointed out. “I mean, we don’t even go to town much, and it’s been a long time since I was in the city where it was more common to see a bunch of gay guys around,” he said.

“Well,” Gerard started. “Me and Brian started this together, sorta,” he said, lacing their fingers together. “I was a total geek for the mythological and Brian’s got a mind for business, so we kinda… put our interests together when we moved in together and started thinking about a real life with each other.”

“And a few years later, here we are!” Brendon said brightly. “I love this job.”

“Yeah,” Gabe started. “Me and him just hooked up like… well, okay, we hooked up a lot for a while,” he said, grinning at the blush on Mikey’s cheeks. “But the whole ‘togetherness’ happened like… a week or two ago.”

“Same here,” Matt said. “I’d never met them until a few weeks ago and we weren’t there but a few days,” he admitted.

Gerard just snickered. “Sex was that good, huh?”

Brendon groaned. “It sounded terrifying.” 

Spencer shuddered. “Seriously, sex should never sound like that. Ever,” he emphasized.

Jon just snickered. “This is seriously unprofessional, dudes,” he said, laughing.

Ray shrugged. “Eh, we don’t care. Normally, we’d be arguing over what to watch on TV about now. A break from the monotony is great no matter what.”

“Man,” Andy said, shaking his head. “I’m _dying_ to get out on that mountain. Holy shit, I have this feeling about this case, you know?”

“You’re like Pete when he’s got a good haunted house.” Gabe teased.

Andy eyed him. “You, shut up, you spend half your time smoking your ceremonial weed and making shit up,” he pointed out. “I deal with evidence and facts, not things I hallucinate.”

Gabe snorted. “You know I’m for real, dude. You have seen the things I’ve encountered, Hurley.”

“He has a point,” Gerard pointed out. “Gabe’s done some pretty weird shit, Andy. Remember the thing with the lightening?” he asked.

Ray frowned. “What happened with lightening?”

Gabe shook his head. “We were on this hunt in Florida, their form of bigfoot, and I had a vision of lightning striking one of the tents but I wasn’t sure which, so I ran back to camp, I was all the way out looking at an alligator nest cause I was bored and it wasn’t a productive hunt, and when I got back, the rain started and I just ran in yelling for them to get out of the tents and right about the time Pete came out of his tent and got a few feet away, lighting struck it.”

Andy hummed. “That’s true. That was weird,” he said. “He even yelled ‘watch the lightning’ seconds before it struck.” He shot him a look. “You may have some genuine things going for you, but you often do just make shit up or hallucinate things.”

“It’s spiritual ceremonies! Of course I hallucinate things. That’s the _point_ of spiritual rituals, so that the earth’s forces can send their messages to me.”

Bob snickered. “Sure it is.”

Brian snorted. “The only reason he’s still working for me is because he pays off a lot of the time.” He eyed Gabe. “I still don’t know why you came on this trip,” he said.

Gerard glared at Gabe. “Because my brother did,” he said and Gabe grinned, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Damn straight!” He eyed Brian. “Not like Brian didn’t come for the same damn thing,” he said pointedly.

Gerard blushed. “So what if he did, he actually has a purpose in the investigation. He is your _boss_ ,” he stressed.

Brian chuckled. “Gee, Mikey’s a grownup. You’re not that much older than him. He’s allowed to have his own life and sleep with whoever he wants,” he said, the eyed Gabe. “Not sure about his taste in men, but eh-“

Mikey eyed him. “You’re dating my brother, your opinion in men is not at all valid.”

“Mikey!” Gerard said in shock. “Dude-“

“Gerard, you’re an older, shorter, less popular, even geekier version of _me_!” Mikey argued. “The only reason I made it out of adolescence not a total loser like you is because I really, really don’t mind who I sleep with and I lost most of your social awkwardness.” Gerard pouted. Mikey rolled his eyes. “Hey, I’m not calling you a loser, you’re still the coolest person alive to me- which is saying something- but face it… if it wasn’t for Brian, you’d probably still be living with _mom_ ,” he said.

Gerard huffed. “And if it wasn’t for me, you’d probably be standing on a street corner, so be less of a brat,” he argued.

Brendon snorted. “And you guys were worrying about _me_ making a scene!”

Ray shrugged. “Hey, like I said, it’s entertaining,” he said, and Bob nodded, laughing to himself.

“Seriously.” 

“Okay,” Andy interrupted. “Let’s talk about the expedition,” he said, pulling out a map. “See, look here,” he said, pointing to the terrain. “There’s this,” he pointed at the map. “The fence the creature crossed is right below this ridge here. Now, once we go over that ridge, we’ve got some rockier terrain to navigate, but then at the top of this small plateau, there’s a great opening for base camp,” he said. “Now, what I need to know is who of you can’t make it up these other slopes here-“ he pointed to some terrain changes on the map. “To set up some of the cameras and stuff. There might be a few spots that involve the climbing gear and not all of you have done that before,” he said.

Ryan made a face. “Ew, climbing, that means exercise, right?” he asked, shaking his head. “Count me out!”

Matt eyed him. “Dude, you’re skinny, how hard could it be?” he asked. “Hell, someone could probably just clip you onto _their_ harness and not notice you’re there.”

Ryan snorted. “Does it look like I’ve ever even tried to climb anything?” he asked.

Spencer snorted. “Don’t worry, I’ll film you if you have to climb anything,” he said. “Ryan can be a pussy,” he said.

Gerard raised a hand. “Um, I’m manning base camp. I’m so not climbing shit,” he said.

Jon raised a hand. “I can climb, but I’m kinda small, if you haven’t noticed. I might have some trouble,” he said.

Andy shot him a look. “I’m five foot _six_ , I think if I can do it, anybody here can,” he said.

“Not fair!” Brendon said. “You’re one giant muscle, you don’t count! You could probably kill a man with your _big toe_ , you’re like… the mini-vegan Chuck Norris,” he argued.

“Whatever,” Andy said, waving a hand. “We’ll do what we can as far as setting up cameras, and after that we’ll just deal with the game cameras. I can set those up myself.” He looked at Matt. “You can help me with anything else,” he said, and Matt grinned.

“That’s me, pack mule and sex toy,” he said and Andy snickered.

“Good job, you know your place already.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Brendon stumbled a little on their way down the back of the ridge, where the loose rocks slid under their feet. “Whoa!” he cried, only to gasp when strong arms caught him. He looked up at Matt, who smiled down.

“Hey there dude, you okay?” he asked and Brendon giggled slightly. “Um, did you hit your head?”

“Um, Andy!” Brendon called, looking back over his shoulder. “I want to go ahead and tell you I plan on stealing this one later,” he said, and Andy snorted.

“Like hell you will-“

“I’ll give him back the same as he was before, I swear!” Brendon said, then gazed up at the tall man dreamily. “He’s just so. damn. pretty-“

“OKAY!” Spencer came over and all but snatched Brendon out of Matt’s arms. “Let’s walk, shall we?” he asked, shoving Brendon along. “Fucking hot tall guys,” he grumbled under his breath.

“I would say pot and kettle, Smith,” Matt started. “But it’s hard to be offended when an impressively sexy dude calls you hot,” he admitted, following along behind them, hefting his backpack. “You can’t really feel all that threatened by my presence, you know? We’re completely opposite kinds of hot,” he pointed out.

“Yeah, tall, dark, and charmingly baby-faced versus not-as-tall, sandy-and-pale, and femininely beautiful,” Ryan offered, smirking at Spencer, who glared.

“I am so manly it makes men look like YOU, Ryan,” he hissed.

Brendon snickered. “Oh yes, Spencer. The manliest lesbian on this mountain,” he said, only to cry out when Spencer threw a rock at him. “OW!” He gaped. “BRIAN HE HIT ME!”

“HE WAS ASKING FOR IT!”

“Children, don’t make me pull this car over,” Gerard called, cackling evilly at the offended looks they gave him.

Brian rolled his eyes. “Oh my God, how the hell is this my life?” he asked in exasperation.

“AHHH!” Mikey screamed a _very_ manly scream and tumbled down the slope past them all, only to land flat on his stomach at the bottom of the slope.

“MIKEY?!” Gerard cried in alarm. “Mikes, are you dead?”

Mikey groaned. “Ugh, yes.” He rolled onto his back and whined. “I’m dying. Tell mom she has lost all hope of ever having grandchildren. And I want to be buried with my Magic The Gathering deck, you can’t have it!” he called up to them as they made their way down.

Gerard shrugged. “Ah, he’s alright,” he said, then sighed. “Good, I don’t have to give mom grandkids,” he said, earning an alarmed look from Brian.

Gabe smiled gently as he knelt down beside Mikey. “You okay, MikeyWay?” he asked, stroking his hair back from his face.

“No,” he whined, then sat up. “Yes,” he admitted. “Just leave me here to die,” he said dramatically, slumping over his knees.

Gabe chuckled. “But then we can’t check number fifty-seven off our list,” he said, and Mikey smirked.

“I’m up!” he said, standing up quickly.

“What’s number fifty-seven on?” Brendon asked curiously.

“And what list?” Ryan asked.

Gerard cried out. “DON’T ASK ABOUT THINGS THAT MAKE GABE SMIRK!!!” he cried, covering his ears. “LA LA LA-“ he continued as he rushed after Andy, who was leading the way.

Gabe grinned. “Our list of sex ‘things to do before I die’!” he said brightly. “Number fifty-seven is sex on the side of a mountain,” he said with a distinctly ‘Gabe’ eyebrow wiggle.

Brendon hummed. “My sex list basically includes ‘have more of it’,” he said, nodding.

Ryan snorted. “You’ve never had it to begin with,” he said, walking on.

Brendon huffed. “Oh yeah?! Maybe you should talk to YOUR MOM, Ryan Ross, YOUR MOM!” he shouted after him.

Without turning back at all, Ryan shouted his reply. “She says you suck!”

Brendon just gaped where as Gabe nearly died laughing at them. Andy cut off any reply. “Come on, speed it up! We’ve got to make camp and set up our cameras before dark and we’ve only got about three hours of light left!”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Gerard dropped his bag and fell unceremoniously to the ground, flat on his back. “Now I remember why I never go on expeditions,” he panted, staring up at the sky.

Mikey smirked from his spot on Gabe’s back, having demanded (and received) a piggyback ride the last third of the way. “It wasn’t bad at all!” he argued, smirking as he hopped down.

Gabe rolled his eyes. “You’re lucky you weigh ten pounds, Mikes. And that we packed our shit in the same bag so I COULD carry you,” he said, taking the bag off of Mikey’s back.

Ryan snorted. “Pussies.”

“Says the one who was panting the _entire_ walk,” Andy said. “Good God, do you people not ever exercise?” he asked.

Gerard snorted. “The most exercise I get is raising my coffee to my lips with my left hand and my cigarette with my right,” he said.

Brian snickered. “Yep, even during sex, he just lays there,” he said and Gerard glared.

“See if you get any for the next _month_ , Schechter,” he threatened. He sat up, pouting. “And I do totally more than just ‘lay there’,” he argued.

Brian smiled, leaning over to kiss him. “Of course you do, baby, it was just so much of an opening I couldn’t pass it up,” he said, pushing Gerard’s sweaty, dirty hair out of his red, overheated face. “Can’t blame me.”

Gerard just giggled and ducked his head. “What’s with you and the sweetness lately? In the last… fuck, at least two years, you only call me baby when you’re trying to get in my pants,” he pointed out.

Brian nudged Gerard’s knee with his. “Well, this is supposed to be a bit of a couples thing for us, I may as well do my part as half of this couple.”

Gerard smirked. “I’ll remember that when it’s cold tonight and you try and steal my coffee,” he said and Brian rolled his eyes.

“Yeah right, I know not to incur the Wrath of Way, dude. I have been dating you for five years, most of which we’ve lived in the same house. And at least seven years of knowing your brother,” he added.

Mikey nodded. “If you drink the last of the coffee, you will die. That is just a fact. And I have the big boots to shove up your ass this time,” he said, raising a foot to show off his hiking boots.

Brian hummed, looking down at his own sneaker clad feet. “You know, my knees would probably hurt a lot less if I’d have thought of that,” he noted.

Gerard just smirked. “Don’t worry, by the time I’m done with you tonight, you won’t be able to feel your legs anyways,” he said with a filthy wink as he stood up and went to help Andy and Matt set up.

Mikey just gaped. “ _EW_!” he cried. “GERARD! NO FAIR!” he cried. “This trip is one where I get to have sex in a tent with a hot guy, not where I have to hear my _brother_ attempting sex with his short, weird looking boyfriend- no offence Brian- and have to KILL MYSELF OVER IT!” he argued, following Gerard.

Gabe just rolled his eyes. “Why did I have to pick a Way? Really?” he sighed.

Brian chuckled. “Eh, at least you’re not as invested as I am. At this point in my life, I’m pretty much stuck with a Way,” he said, grinning as he got up to go help set up as well.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
The tents were set up around the clearing with the fire in the middle and the lean-to that was above the monitors and equipment to protect them if it started raining. “Alright!” Andy said, calling them all together. “So, were going to go out and set up all the cameras before it’s pitch black. Matt and I will go down the other side of this ridge over here,” he said, pointing up behind them at the steep hill. “There’s some track cams to set up and one night vision cam,” he said.

“Jon and I can take care of the ones to the west,” Brendon said, looking at his compass. “That way, right?” he added meekly, pointing behind him.

“Yeah,” Andy said. “Good, take a bag of cameras and go now.” He looked around. “Gerard-“

“Whoa,” Gerard held up a hand. “This ass stays firmly planted in this lawn chair,” he said, pointing to his seat. He smirked. “Unless there’s something being firmly planted in this ass,” he added.

Brian snickered, then coughed to cover it when everybody shot him looks. Andy just sighed. “Alright, just get the cameras and lets go,” he said, walking away to grab the climbing gear.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Brendon sat with his hands over his ears as he watched the monitors. Nothing, however, could block out the wet sounds of kissing from beside him. “Guys… you’re the ones supposed to be doing this. I’m supposed to be helping you,” he said pointedly.

“Yeah, whatever,” Gerard said in a pause to breathe, only to duck right back in, kissing Brian hard. Brendon covered his eyes as he saw Brian’s hand sliding up Gerard’s thigh, only to run into an issue of covering his eyes or his ears, but not both. 

“OKAY!” he cried, shocking them apart. “Look, I only have two hands!” he said and they stared at him. “I can either cover my ears or cover my eyes, but I can’t do both!” he said. “So look, you two watch these monitors, okay?” he said. “I’m going to check on the sensors for the trap cameras. See if any of them went off.” He looked at them. “Stop making out and groping and _work_!” he said sternly before turning to walk over to Andy’s tent.

Brian and Gerard looked at each other, then giggled. “I’m a terrible boss,” Brian said, smiling at Gerard. “I’m being told off by assistants.”

Gerard smiled. “You’ve been extra…. Boyfriend-y lately,” he said. “I don’t give two shits if we’re unprofessional if it means I get a little bit of time acting like a teenager,” he said and Brian smirked.

“Would that include totally blowing off the work in favor of making out?” he asked and Gerard grinned.

“Had I met you earlier, I’d have never managed college,” he admitted and Brian laughed but leaned over to kiss him.

“Same here,” Brian said, tugging Gerard closer as they went back to making out again.

“Brian, fuck,” Gerard moaned, straddling Brian’s lap as he kissed him harder. Brian held his hips and moaned as he tilted his head back, lapping into Gerard’s mouth. “So hot-“

“HEY!” Brendon cried as he came back. They fell apart, both of them startled and giggling. “I leave you alone for a minute and you get… touchy!” he cried. “Go to opposite tents!” he commanded and they both just gaped. “NOW!” he snapped, shocking them.

“You know I’m your boss-“ Brendon cut Brian off with a glare. “Uh, fine!” Brian whined, sucking his teeth as he stomped off to his tent.

Gerard just hummed. “Yeah, I’m not listening to you, he only is cause he’s having way too much fun with this whole ‘teenagers’ thing,” he said. “So join me! Let’s watch our companions being investigative and undoubtedly falling down many times,” he said, grinning as he looked at the screens.

Brendon shrugged. “Well, watching Ryan flailing around and being smacked with pine branches does sound fun,” he said, flopping down beside him.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
“Alright,” Ryan said, bringing his camera around. “Do you have the microphone?” he asked Gabe, who nodded, holding up the microphone and Mikey dug out the detachable parabolic dish. “Good, put it on and we’ll check the scent traps and see if we hear anything moving around out here,” he said. 

“Alright,” Gabe held up the microphone and dish put together. “So here’s my question,” he started. “What happens if we do find Bigfoot?” he asked. “I mean, chances are it’s big and omnivorous and maybe even hungry.”

“Well,” Mikey said, looking at them all. “Between the three of us, he may just pass us up. We may be too skinny for his trouble.”

Ryan chuckled. “Someone should call back and warn base camp. Brendon’s ass is big enough to be a decent appetizer on its own,” he joked and Mikey laughed.

The radio crackled in Mikey’s pocket. “I CAN HEAR YOU RYAN ROSS!” Brendon’s voice came through.

Ryan snickered. “I know,” he said into his microphone pointedly.

Mikey snickered. “Well, my brother’s fluffy too, so if he’s not fucking his boyfriend around now, he’d be the entrée,” he said.

“Fuck you Michael! see if I share any of the coffee with you!” Gerard’s voice echoed through the radio.

Gabe just chuckled. “Alright, let’s get to work.” They walked on until they came to a small stream. “Hmm, this is a good spot for a camera,” he said and Ryan nodded.

“Yeah, dig one of the small cameras out of my backpack. There’s an IR light pack in there as well,” he added. “Attach the pack to the camera and then strap it to that tree,” he directed.

“Guys?” Mikey called from down nearer to the water. “What the-“ They heard a loud splash and Mikey gasped. “Something just threw a limb!” he called and they rushed over.

Ryan scanned the other side but saw nothing. “You sure it didn’t just fall?” he asked and Mikey shook his head.

“It came from the other side of the stream. I mean, there’s no wind blowing this way, why wouldn’t it fall straight down?” he asked.

Ryan grabbed the radio. “Ryan to Andy,” he called out.

“I hear you, Ryan.”

“Yeah,” Ryan started. “We think we just had a limb thrown at us. We found a stream and a limb splashed into it not far from us.”

“Got it, just mark it on the GPS and when I come by on my sweep I’ll check it out. Did you put up a camera?”

“Yeah,” Ryan replied. “Facing the stream.”

“Good.” 

Gabe looked around as he touched the tree beside them. “I think we should go,” he said and they both turned to him. He looked slightly dazed as he looked around. “I want to move that way,” he said suddenly, walking away and upstream.

“Gabe?” Mikey started, rushing after him. “Gabe, are you with me?” he asked, grabbing his elbow.

Gabe barely acknowledged him. “Yeah, Mikes. Come on, she’s guiding me,” he said softly, lacing their fingers together. “Hurry!” he said with a distant smile.

Ryan frowned. “Mikey what is he-“

“Gabe, who is she?” Mikey asked gently.

“ _She_ , Mikey!” He gestured around them. “Don’t worry, She’ll take us where we are meant to go,” he said, tugging him along as he sped up.

“Mikey?” Ryan tried.

“Just come on,” Mikey said. “If he thinks Earth is guiding him, chances are we’re gonna see something awesome,” he said, letting Gabe guide them.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Andy and Matt were looking at the way leave were bent and branches broken as they guided Spencer and Jon. “So,” Jon started, falling into step beside Spencer, who was filming Andy and Matt. “Ryan… is he single, or-“

Spencer shot him a look. “Really? Bigfoot hunting is the best time to ask me if my friend’s single?”

“What?” Jon asked. “He’s hot!”

“Most of the guys here are, doesn’t mean you need to try and get info mid-hunt!” Spencer argued.

Andy sighed. “Guys, could you please-“ Andy was cut off as they heard a crack to their left. Spencer swung the camera around and Andy pulled the thermal camera around. “What the-“

“Andy?”

“Ryan?” Andy asked.

Spencer sighed as they made their way over to where Ryan was at. “Why are you here?”

Gabe tugged Mikey again, totally ignoring Andy and the others. “Come on, Mikey. We have to keep going,” he said.

Andy eyed him. “Gabe, are you stoned?” he asked flatly.

Mikey shook his head, out of breath as he started to speak. “He’s like… in a trance. I’ve seen him do this before but never for this long,” he said.

“Mikey, we have to go, She’s calling me!” he said tugging him. 

Mikey nodded to follow them. “Come on guys,” he said, letting Gabe lead him.

After a ways of being led by Gabe, they came to a low area where a creek ran into a pond. Gabe walked nearly down to the bank before suddenly stopping. They all stood waiting and Mikey stepped closer. “Gabe?” he asked softly. He walked around in front of him only to notice Gabe’s eyes were completely blank. “Gabe, hey, you with me?” he asked, then reached up and brushed a leaf out of Gabe’s hair. The touch effectively shocked Gabe into movement and he jolted, then looked around. “Gabe?”

“Whoa,” he said, blinking rapidly. He looked down at Mikey, then turned and looked up at the guys. “Um… hi?” he tried, looking around. “Uh… weren’t we in the woods?” he asked, frowning as he turned, only to stop and glance back. “Whoa!” he started over and Mikey followed. “Gimme your light,” he said and Mikey walked over, only to gasp.

Four feet from where he and Gabe had been standing, down by the water’s edge, was a massive footprint. “Holy shit!” Mikey said.

“Gabe, you’re fucking awesome, have I told you that?!” Andy cried, staring. “Holy fuck, guys look at this!” he exclaimed, beaming. “Dude, Gabe, I don’t even give a shit if you’re a massive drama queen!” he cried, leaning up to kiss him smack on the mouth.

“Hey!” Mikey protested weakly. “Mine,” he said, tugging at Gabe’s wrist.

Andy just laughed. “Okay, Matt, get out the casting material, Ryan, take photos of the print, okay?” he said, then knelt down, taking out his measuring square to try and get a scale for the print.

Gabe finally spoke. “Okay, can someone explain why we’re at a pond? I expressly remember we were JUST by a stream!” he said, looking confused.

Mikey smiled. “Gabe, you went like… into a trance or something. You just kept tugging me along going ‘She’s calling me, Mikey, we have to go’ and we passed by the other team and they followed and you just stopped here and froze and when you came to, it was right near this,” he said and Gabe just blinked.

“Wow,” he said, then smirked. “Damn, I’m good!” he said, earning a collective groan.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Once they were all back at base camp, Gerard and Brian fawned over their footprint cast. “Holy shit, that’s a fucking footprint!” Gerard said brightly. “Hell yeah!”

Brian grinned. “Did you set up another camera near this?” he asked and Andy shot him a look.

“Do you think I’m stupid?” he asked, earning a laugh.

“Alright,” Brian said. “Well, the sun’s coming up, so let’s all get some sleep-“

“Great!” Mikey said, snatching Gabe towards his tent by the wrist. “Goodnight everybody, damn I’m tired!” he cried dramatically, faking a yawn.

Gerard just groaned. “I hate him so hard,” he whined, earning a sympathetic pat to the shoulder from Andy.

“So do I, Gerard. So do I.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
It was late afternoon when everybody finally emerged from their tents, ready for the next night of investigation.

… For the most part.

“Hey Andy!” Jon called. “I think I heard the Bigfoot this morning,” he said and Brendon giggled.

“Yeah, it must’ve come right through camp,” he said with a grin.

Spencer snorted. “I think it went between our tent and yours doing it’s mating call,” he said.

Ryan looked up with a small smirk. “I think it was just mating right there,” he said with a surprising amount of inflection for his usually flat voice as he shot Gerard and Brian a look.

Mikey just shrugged. “I was thankfully too far to hear,” he said and Gerard glared.

“We will fire you all,” he threatened.

Brian smirked. “Well you weren’t exactly _quiet_ -“ He shut up when Gerard glared. “Don’t kill me, I love you?” he tried and Gerard rolled his eyes.

“I should’ve never left my ex. He sure never complained about the sex-“

“Hey! Your ex was a douche bag and I’m so not complaining!” Brian argued. “He was ugly and gross and _hit you_ -“

“Well to be honest, I did hit him first,” Gerard said, grinning. “I’m teasing anyways, you’re the one I’ve been with five years, not the one I had to threaten a restraining order to,” he said, leaning over to kiss Brian. “Besides,” he said, mumbling against his lips. “You definitely weren’t complaining last night,” he said, earning a smirk.

“You bet I wasn’t,” Brian said, sneaking a hand down Gerard’s thigh, earning a giggle.

“GUYS!” Mikey cried, voice quite shrill. 

Gerard sighed. “Alright, alright.” He smiled. “I guess killing my brother’s brain isn’t a good idea when we’re in the middle of the wilderness,” he said.

Brian just laughed. “So can we break him when we get home?” he asked.

Gerard nodded. “Definitely.” He eyed him. “If you’re still being this weird alien-Brian you’ve been since we planned this expedition,” he added as he stood up and walked off.

Brian frowned, following Gerard. “Hey,” he called, catching him on the way to the equipment lean-to. “What do you mean?” he asked, catching his hand loosely.

Gerard shrugged. “Don’t take this the wrong way,” he said. “I love you, Brian, I have never stopped loving you for a second,” he said. “But… the last-“ he shrugged. “Hell, two years or so you’ve been just… I don’t know,” he said. “I don’t want to say it’s your fault, but the whole relationship has been sort of- well boring,” he admitted. “Like, not boring but it’s felt like, no matter how much I love you, I found myself not exactly liking you that much,” he said softly, looking away. “Not all the time, you’re my best friend most of the time,” he reassured, reaching out to grab his hand. “But sometimes, especially lately… I’ve felt like that’s all we were. Best friends. Not boyfriends.” 

Brian frowned. “What have I done to make you… well, feel like I don’t- like I’ve changed?” he asked, twining their fingers together, a little desperate to keep the connection between them.

Gerard shrugged with a sad smile. “Not much. That’s sort of the problem. In the last year for sure you barely talk to me when it’s not about work or trying to get into my pants. There’s never a random conversation about something you heard or anything. We never do things together anymore. It’s like… I’ve been sharing my life with someone I know by existence, but not personally.” He bit his lip. “But… I’m sort of thinking maybe it’s going to be okay now?” he asked in a fragile voice. “I mean… I don’t know what happened to change it, but the last few weeks it’s like we’ve been rediscovering each other.”

Brian sighed, ducking his head. “Well, to be honest I didn’t notice anything was wrong myself,” he admitted. “One day someone told me that if I wasn’t careful, you were going to get tired of me. And they said that you didn’t really like me very much, you just stuck around because you loved me.” He shook his head. “They told me I should pay you more attention if I wanted you to still be here and I just… figured I should test it. That day I walked into the office and asked you about this trip as a little ‘romance in a tent’ thing, you seemed so- so shocked that I was being _loving_ and that really hurt.”

Gerard smiled sadly. “Brian, it was a shock though. You’re a pretty gruff, demanding guy. You’re not exactly Captain Cuddles-and-Kisses most of the time.”

Brian gave him a look as he drew him closer. “You deserve better than some demanding asshole who treats you like a friend and coworker after you’ve given five years of your life to them,” he said then leaned in to kiss the confused pout on Gerard’s lips. 

“I don’t follow, but if you mean ‘why yes, Gerard, I do plan on keeping up this romantic streak’ then I’m all for it,” Gerard said and Brian laughed.

“I guess I’m saying I’m going to appreciate you more from now on,” he said, sliding his arms around the taller man’s middle. “Sloppy, lazy, messy, loud, basically annoying on every level or not, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Way,” he said, leaning up for a kiss.

Gerard laughed. “So you’re saying you love me in spite of every single aspect of my personality?” he asked and Brian shrugged.

“Well, maybe I’ve gotten a bit attached to you leaving shit around the house, dropping cigarette butts all over the place, being loud at everything you do, and having basically every annoying habit in the world,” he admitted. “If something happened and we did break up, I’d never be able to find anybody annoying enough to keep me interested again,” he said.

Gerard rolled his eyes. “Why do you think me and my exes failed? They were just like me and anytime I’m around, there has to be someone who is very responsible around to keep me alive,” he pointed out. “Besides,” he said, wrapping his arms around Brian’s shoulders. “I have devoted a large part of my adult life to you. Swear to God, if you left me, I’d have to kill you,” he said and Brian laughed.

“Hell, I was worried about you leaving me. I’m the one who’s been an idiot lately.” He shot  
Gerard a glare when he said nothing to the contrary. “Oh you shit,” he said, earning a cackle.

“Come on, Schechter, admit it, you’re just stuck with me,” he said and Brian sighed dramatically.

“Woe is me, I’m stuck with a beautiful guy who puts up with my massive amounts of assholishness and gives awesome head!” he mock sobbed. “How will I ever bear it?”

Gerard rolled his eyes. “Hey, I’m the one who looks like a fat chick, you’re kinda ridiculously hot to be thirty-five,” he pointed out. “I mean, how the hell do you still have a six pack, dude? I’m not complaining, you’re fucking sexy, but seriously… what the fuck?” he asked, giggling slightly.

Brian rolled his eyes as he tugged Gerard against him, hands going into his back pockets. “You’re not fat or a chick,” he said. “I can attest to both, since I had sex with you just this morning,” he said, grinning as he kissed Gerard sloppily. “You’re solid and most definitely male, judging by the presence of a dick.” He kissed him again. “Besides, I love your pretty face, it would feel odd if you looked all manly in the face.”

Gerard just blushed but smiled. He sighed happily, reaching up to play with Brian’s hair. He looked at him then bit his lip. “We’re gonna be okay,” he said confidently and Brian nodded, smiling as he hugged Gerard.

“Of course we are.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
The groups changed and they split up for the second night’s investigation. Andy, Ryan, Jon, and Brendon all made their way back to the pond where they had casted the print the night before. They searched all along the shoreline but found nothing. “Alright,” Andy started, looking around. “We’ll go around this pond and check all along the bank. Once we do that, we’ll head east up towards that hill. When me and Matt swept the area during that first afternoon we found some rocks and what may have been a cave.”

Brendon nodded. “Sweet.”

“So Andy,” Ryan started. “For the camera, have you ever actually _see_ Bigfoot?” he asked.

Andy hesitated. “I’m not gonna say yes or no. I have seen and heard things I _cannot_ explain,” he said. “And that cast last night is just one of many footprints that makes no sense,” he said.

“You know what doesn’t make sense,” Brendon spoke up. “That Bob and Ray aren’t getting it on,” he said with wiggling eyebrows.

Jon rolled his eyes. “Not everyone is gay, Brendon.”

“Everybody is at least a little bit gay,” Brendon argued. “I’d say ninety percent of the world is actually bisexual, they just don’t all know it.”

“You make no sense,” Ryan teased. “Your ass blocks your brain waves.”

“Both of you shut up,” Andy interrupted. “And Ryan, you’re just jealous of his ass. I _love_ having a round ass and I’m sure he does too. Men like it.”

Brendon blinked. “They do?” he asked and everybody shot him a look. “What?! Guys don’t date me and Ryan tells me I’m fat, so I assumed guys don’t like fat asses!”

Ryan scoffed. “Guys like perky small asses, not round flabby ones like yours,” he said.

“Can we shut up about asses and guys and gayness and dating and sex and go back to Bigfoot hunting?” he asked and they all shut up. “Thank you!”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
On the third night, Andy called them all on the radios around three am. “Guys, I just got an update from Brian. Tonight’s our last night. We’ve only got about an hour more before we need to shut down for the night, so let’s gather the cameras and stuff and head back to camp. There’s a storm system coming in that’s supposed to last the rest of the week and we’re hiking back to meet with Bob and Ray and head back in.

Matt and Gabe were heading back to get some more cameras when Gabe suddenly stopped. “She’s scared,” he said suddenly, frowning.

Matt turned around, then turned his handheld camera on Gabe just in case they needed documentation. “Who’s scared of what?” he asked, having seen Gabe when he had gone into his trance before.

Gabe looked up, seeming to not be in a trance this time. “I’m not sure,” he said. “Whatever, let’s keep going. Maybe it’s the storm messing with me,” he said and they both turned to keep walking. 

They were heading towards some track cameras Andy had marked on the GPS, when Gabe stopped again, gasping. “That’s her!” he said, looking straight ahead. Matt turned and just stared. He was frozen in shock at the sight before them.

Through the trees, standing beside a grove of thick bushes, was a large, dark fur covered _thing_ standing on two legs. It turned and Matt could see the primate-like features on the face. He could see it’s _eyes_.

“Matt… Matt, we need to back away,” Gabe said suddenly. “She’s not alone.”

Matt didn’t even think as he dropped the camera in his hand, gasping when it cracked on a rock, startling the creature. He was too shocked to think. Gabe grabbed his wrist as the creature let out a growl, baring fangs. They both began to back away. “Why- why do you call it she?” he asked. Later he would wonder why his shock was making his brain think of the most random facts, but at the moment, it seemed the most pertinent question to his shock-frozen brain.

“That,” he said, and Matt heard a crash in the brush, only to gape and back up quicker once he realized what they were looking at. There was a small one tumbling in the underbrush. It stopped when Gabe’s light hit it, and it then darted behind the adult, who let out a menacing sound before starting towards them a step or two. “Matt… run,” Gabe said, before turning and rushing away the way they had come.

Matt just blinked at the creatures and turned to sprint after Gabe. They had just cleared the stream when they heard a loud howl back the way they had been heading that stopped them both. The crackling of the radio erupted from Gabe’s pocket. “Base to all teams, did you all hear that sound?!” Andy’s overexcited voice came over the radio.

Gabe pulled it out. “Oh yeah, we heard it alright,” he said, smiling at Matt, who finally realized what he had just seen.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Brian came in and sat down at the head of the table, smiling. “So, everybody’s here, we can fully discuss our trip!” he said brightly. He looked over at the three who had stayed behind. “You guys missed one hell of a trip,” he said and Patrick grinned.

“Yeah, but I gone one hell of a result to share from your evidence,” he said, practically vibrating. “You guys, that print you casted was so clear that the mud preserved partial _ridges_ in toe patterns! That’s incredible evidence that it was an actual print, not a fake!” he said, looking excited.

Andy chuckled. “We kinda knew that,” he said, and Patrick deflated. “No, thanks! That’s still our best evidence, since our track cameras caught blurs at best, but we’ve got some great audio,” he said, then looked at Matt.

“And me and Gabe have the best proof,” he said, then looked at Gabe, who beamed. “We saw some,” he said and Pete gaped.

“Some as in more than one?!” he asked, eyes wide.

Joe started. “Wait, in the flesh? Was it close or was it like… a dot on a ridge or-“

Gabe shook his head. “I had a sense from the surroundings. I even told Matt ‘she’s scared’ and I didn’t know who she was,” he started and Matt jumped in.

“Then he said ‘there she is!’ and I looked up and there was a-“ he shook his head. “Well, a Sasquatch!” he said, laughing. 

Andy glared. “Yet you dropped our camera and we lost it. We have no photographic proof, dipshit.”

“You’re just jealous we saw them-“ 

Patrick cut Matt off. “Them? As in more than one?” he asked curiously.

Gabe nodded. “We have definite proof now that there is a population of them. A breeding population,” he said. He looked up at Matt. “We seriously probably came close to being ripped apart. The female was probably forty yards away and we come up close enough that I’d estimate she was at least seven foot,” he said, then smiled. “And she was with a juvenile. Probably her offspring,” he said with a bright smile.

“Seriously, scaring a seven foot tall fanged mother with a baby is never good,” Mikey said. “She could’ve eaten you, Gabe,” he said and Gabe grinned.

“That’s why we ran,” he said, tugging at Mikey’s hand. “I know you want me with all my limbs intact and I’m pretty sure that if this thing thought we were a threat to her baby, she’d have ripped my arms off and beaten me with them,” he pointed out.

Patrick laughed. “That’s incredible!” he cried, shaking his head. “Sucks we have no evidence, but I know you guys aren’t ones to make shit up. There is actually a breeding population of Bigfoots in Montana,” he said, shaking his head. “Amazing!”

Gerard nodded. “The clients were pleased with our results. And I’m glad they saw that there was a mother and baby because I think their former standby was going to be ‘shoot it!’ and now they know that they shouldn’t,” he said.

Brendon nodded. “They run an animal sanctuary so I’m pretty sure they won’t hurt a mommy Bigfoot who has to take care of a baby. As long as she stops trying to eat their goats,” he said.

Andy just wiggled happily in his seat. “Man, I can’t wait until we get another chance to head back up there! Ray and Bob told us we’re free to come back to investigate further at any time as long as we keep the location anonymous when we publish our evidence,” he said.

Brian smiled, clearly amused. “Apparently, Ray doesn’t want anybody to harm a seemingly peaceful group of animals who never hurt anybody, and Bob just doesn’t want any people coming up to bother them at their ranch.” Everybody laughed. “So!” he started happily. “Gerard already found us a new case right off,” he said, looking over at Gerard, who smiled.

“Well, there was this guy I knew-“

Mikey sniggered. “And by know, he means ‘fucked’-“

“ANYWAYS!” Gerard continued. “He’s a real-estate agent and there’s a house down south, just outside of Savannah, Georgia he just sold. The couple that bought it contacted him almost immediately because they thought someone else had the keys. They would hear noises and find furniture moved, things like that,” he said. “Pete, you’ll love this.” He smirked. “One day in the middle of the afternoon, one of them was heading outside where I guess they had a patio set up or something, cause he mentioned passing the rocking chairs they had set up, and then when he sat down out on the patio and looked back, there was an old woman sitting in the rocking chair. Mid-afternoon, nobody around,” he said.

Pete looked excited. “Really?! Daytime?” he asked.

Gerard nodded. “I got an email saying that, though they’re not specifically _scared_ , one of them thinks that something other than just the sweet old lady. He says that one night he was getting ready for bed and looked up and saw a man with a gun behind him in the mirror and when he turned around he was alone, but the lights went off.”

Patrick smiled at the bright look on Pete’s face. “Well, I guess we don’t need to say we’re in,” he said, earning an excited nod from Pete.

Brian nodded. “Who else?” he asked, looking around. “Gee?” he asked, and Gerard nodded.

“Definitely. Mikes?” he asked, and Mikey looked at Gabe.

“Yeah, Gabe will be going so I may as well come along too,” he said, reaching out for Gabe’s hand. “I’m sure his channeling will be useful.”

Gabe chuckled. “You say that, but when I’m being possessed by some pirate or something, you’ll say otherwise,” he teased.

Brian nodded. “Well, I guess we’ll definitely have our assistant bitch, Brendon-“

“Hey!”

“Then our camera and sound trio,” he said, earning nods from Brendon, Ryan, Spencer, and Jon. He looked up. “Andy?” he asked.

Andy shook his head. “I’ve got a lot of shit to do after this case we just finished as far as reporting results and stuff,” he said.

Matt nodded. “I’ve gotta go back to Nevada,” he said with a shrug. “I kinda just ran away with you guys, but eventually I do sorta have to get back to life.”

Andy smiled. “I’m gonna take off a few weeks soon and go hang out with him,” he informed Brian, who chuckled.

“You have four years worth of vacation time _not_ taken, dude. Plenty built up,” he said. “Joe?”

Joe hummed. “I’ll pass. There’s a lot to be done around here. Especially if Patrick’s going and I have to do research myself,” he said, and Patrick laughed.

Brian nodded. “Sweet, a solid ten of us,” he said with a nod. “Sounds like fun.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
“Brian, that’s the ocean,” Gerard argued, pointing to their left. “We’re going the wrong way. We’re supposed to be heading _away_ from the ocean.”

“Will you let me drive, please?” he asked, glaring at Gerard. “I’m following the directions _you_ printed out-“

“Are we there yet?” Brendon whined and both the ones in the front turned around to glare, earning a loud scream from Pete.

“LOOK AT THE ROAD!” he cried and Brian jerked back around, swerving to avoid running off the road. 

“Brian, Gerard, stop fighting like the old married couple you are,” Mikey said and Gerard turned to glare. “Brendon, you are not their little kid, do _not_ ask that again,” he said and Brendon deflated. “And whoever decided renting a van was the best idea, I hate you,” he informed the group at large.

“Look, there’s a mailbox!” Patrick said, distracting them.

“That’s probably it,” Brian said, pulling into the driveway. They drove up a long driveway that was just two ruts worn into the tall grass. It went into a grove of trees and, on the other side, they all made sounds of awe as they spotted a decent sized two story white house sitting alone in the middle of the clearing. 

The house had a wraparound porch that had white rails to match the house but a dark blue floor and stairs. There was a porch swing hanging on the left side and in it was a man wearing a blue and white tee-shirt. When they stopped, he stood up and smiled as a large copper colored dog came loping from around the side of the house and ran down the steps, tail wagging as he ran to investigate the newcomers.

Gerard got out and smiled up at the guy who was leaning against the column at the top of the steps. “Hi, I’m Gerard, I take it you’re William?” he asked, and the guy nodded, holding out his hand as Gerard walked up on the porch.

“Hi, we were so happy to hear you guys could come by,” he said. He squinted and shaded his eyes as he looked out at the rest. “I sure hope ya’ll don’t scare easy,” he teased.

Brian walked up as well, letting the others set about stretching some and unloading the van. “Hi, I’m Brian, the owner,” he said and William looked at Gerard.

“Is he the one Nick mentioned?” he asked and Gerard laughed, nodding.

“Yeah, Brian’s my bitch,” he said with a fond smile at Brian. Brian didn’t look at all amused. “So, where’s your husband?” he asked and Brian blinked.

“Oh!” he said and Gerard raised an eyebrow. “Sorry, I just didn’t realize you meant two guys when you were talking about them. I was confused,” he said and William smiled.

“Yeah, down here we get a lot worse reactions than that, trust me,” he said, hands in his pockets. “You guys can just put all that stuff on the porch for now. My husband should be home in a few minutes. He comes home from work around now,” he said. “When he gets home, we can give you guys a tour and explain our experiences.”

Gerard nodded. “Sounds good.” He looked at Brian. “You lot get all that stuff up here,” he said and Brian eyed him. 

“And you’re helping by doing what?” he asked and Gerard smiled.

“Talking with the client. Now work,” he commanded teasingly. “This one’s my case, babe,” he said, kissing Brian’s cheek before walking over to sit beside William on the swing.

“How long have you guys been together?” William asked and Gerard chuckled.

“Five ridiculously long years,” he said, and William grinned.

“I know the feeling. The first few years are pretty good, then there’s a definitely sense of boredom for a while, but after five you kinda realize it was just settling,” he said and Gerard raised an eyebrow.

“So you had a period of ‘holy shit life is getting lame’ too?” he asked and William nodded.

“Definitely. We’ve been married seven years and even though we’d been together a year before we married, I’d say year two was about where it started getting to where all the annoying things I used to find cute were suddenly just annoying. All his little possessive moments when other people checked me out weren’t adorable, they were just annoying,” he said. “For a day or so, I honestly thought about leaving him because I was so bored, but we got through it and since that rough spot it’s been pretty great.”

Gerard smiled as he looked over at Brian. “Good to know. We’ve been doing better the last few weeks but it was getting pretty boring before that,” he admitted.

They were interrupted by a car driving up. William stood up and waved before sitting back down. The car disappeared around the side of the house and William turned to Gerard. “We’ve got a garage in the back that used to be a barn or shed or something,” he explained. “When we bought the house they told us it was full of old machinery.”

Most of the cases were piled on the porch when a man appeared from around the side of the house, smiling at the dog running alongside him as he walked up. “Damn that’s a lot of stuff,” he said, waving at everybody as he walked around them and headed over to William. “Hey baby,” he said, sitting down in the gap William made by sliding closer to Gerard. “Hi, person I don’t know,” he said, waving around William at Gerard as he laid his arm around William’s shoulders.

William smiled. “This is the guy Nick got me into contact with,” he informed his husband. “Gerard, this is my husband, Travis,” he said and the man nodded his head towards him. “Now that you’re here we can give them a tour,” he said brightly. “Tell them all our experiences.”

Travis nodded. “I’ll go ahead and tell you that even if I trust Bill with everything in me, I think a lot of the things he claims happened are his imagination,” he said and William made a face.

“You’ve seen things too,” he argued and Travis smiled.

“Yeah I have. We both have. But moving furniture, opening doors, and flickering lights are one thing. Your ‘people’ are another,” he said and William sighed.

“They don’t like to show themselves to Travis,” William claimed. “Not sure why either.” He bit his lip.

Gerard nodded. “Let me talk to the guys and then we’ll let you give us a tour.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
They all stood around on the porch, having sorted out the gear. “Alright, well as we told Gerard, I’m William and this is my husband, Travis,” William started. “There’s a lot of stuff goes on in this house,” he said. “The lady at the historical society check records and, as far as they know, this house was built in the late eighteen hundreds. Probably before eighteen ninety but maybe not before the Civil War,” he explained. “The house sits in the middle of several large fields beyond the trees, but it’s not part of a big plantation so there aren’t many records.”

Travis nodded. “We moved in about six months ago and almost as soon as we moved in, stuff started happening. We can hear furniture being moved. Doors will open and shut. There will be footsteps and stuff,” he explained.

William nodded. “I’ve seen actual people… or whatever,” he amended. “Travis hasn’t, but I have.”

Travis nodded. “We mostly just want to make sure we’re not crazy,” he admitted and William nodded.

“So we’ll start by taking you guys on a tour, okay?” he asked and everybody nodded. “Alright, follow me,” he said, and they all followed the couple as they walked around the side of the house. Brian had expected to go inside, but followed their lead.

When they got to the back of the house, Gerard could see that there was a brick patio set up down on the ground in the backyard, between the house and ‘garage’. There were rocking chairs on the porch and he remembered the claim. “Now,” William started. “We were gonna eat dinner out here on the patio because it was nice and cool one night. It wasn’t dark yet, it was around four or so, I’d guess,” he explained. “I was walking down to clean off the table since a bird had shit on it and when I turned around, this chair here-“ he pointed to the one beside him. “Had an old lady sitting in it, just rocking. She didn’t look at me or anything, she didn’t react. She was just rocking and after a few seconds she just… faded,” he said. “I screamed for Travis and he came running, but there was nothing there.”

Travis chuckled. “You wouldn’t believe how used to him shouting ‘it’s a ghost!’ I’ve gotten,” he joked, earning a few laughs around. “Now if you wanna come in, we’ll show you guys around.”

They were led inside through the back door, which led directly into a screened in area that housed a washer and a dryer. They were told that, originally, it would have probably been where the children slept in the summer, since it got very hot and just opening windows didn’t help much when the kids at the time shared beds. Through the door into the actual house was the kitchen. They explained that though they never had experiences _in_ the kitchen, they were often in there when they heard things in other parts of the house.

From the kitchen there was a hall that ran all the way to the front door. Off to the right was a fairly large dining room. Across from it was an office. Further down on the right was the living room. The stairs were in the hall near the living room entrance and further along, just left of the door was a front sitting room.

“Down here, mostly we hear things,” William explained. “One night we were on the couch watching TV and we clearly heard someone coming down the stairs. Travis got up to go see but nobody was there,” he said. “We’ll hear the doors along the hall squeaking sometimes. They all make a ton of noise,” he explained.

“Upstairs is where the most stuff happens,” Travis said. “Come on up,” he said, leading them upstairs. When they got to the fairly large landing at the top, where the landing was on either side of the top of the stairs, Travis pointed to four doors. “The ones on either side of the landing here,” he pointed left and right. “Are empty rooms, as is the one on the left over there,” he said, pointing at the door on the far wall to the left. “They’ve all got furniture because our families like to visit and such, but the only room used up here is our room, the one on the right, and the bathroom that’s between it and this first bedroom on the right,” he explained.

The group followed William and Travis into their bedroom. It was a large room with a large bed against the back wall and a wardrobe along the wall that ran down the middle of the top floor. Through a door opposite the bed, they could see the bathroom. William stood in the doorway as Brian looked in. “I was standing in here one night, getting ready for bed, and I heard someone out in the bedroom. I figured it was Travis coming to bed, so I didn’t think,” he explained. “I came out and went to the mirror over there,” he pointed in the bedroom. “And I was checking my hair because-“ he blushed, glancing at Travis. “Well, I was checking to see if it looked okay.”

Brendon and Pete both snickered and both received elbows to the ribs from Patrick, who was between them. “Shut up,” he hissed.

“And in the mirror I saw a man,” William said. “It was an older guy with a big mustache. He was wearing a gray hat and a white shirt with suspenders on.” He hesitated. “He was holding a gun,” he said. “Like… an old fashioned rifle,” he said. “It scared me and I screamed and then all the lights went out and I ran for the door because I didn’t think ‘ghost’, I thought ‘scary killer person’,” he said and Gerard chuckled. “But Travis was at the top of the stairs and he convinced me that nobody came up, so he walked with me back into the room and nobody was there when he turned on the lights,” he said.

Travis smiled fondly. “I still say it’s his imagination getting the best of him, but who knows,” he said, shrugging.

William smiled. “Well, that’s the house, other than the empty bedrooms,” he said. “Travis and I are gonna get out of ya’lls way for a while, but we’ll be back sometime after midnight,” he said.

Travis nodded. “We figured you’ve got enough people already in this house,” he said simply. He looked at William. “Hey, you wanna go grab your phone before we go?” he asked and William nodded, heading out. Travis waited until he and most of the guys were gone before turning to Gerard and Brian. “Look, I know he really believes this stuff, and I know something weird is happening, but mostly I just want to know what the hell it is,” he said honestly. “Something is scaring my husband so bad he’s afraid to be inside alone, even during the day. He gets home before I do and I’ve yet to come home he wasn’t outside with the dog waiting on me,” he said softly. “I just want my husband to feel comfortable in his own house.”

Gerard nodded. “So, William’s picked up a little accent, but where did you two come from originally?” he asked curiously as they started out. “Just some background,” he said. “Sometimes people’s pasts influence whether or not they are able to see ghosts and feel presences.”

Travis smiled. “Well, I’m from upstate New York and he’s from Chicago. We met when I was out there for school,” he explained. “I was in grad school then. I got offered a job down here and when I asked him to come with me, we decided to get married before we moved. We lived in the city in an apartment for nearly six years before we saved up enough to buy a house out here away from the tourists and crowds,” he explained.

“And what do you do?” Brian asked curiously.

Travis smiled. “I’m working at SCAD and William has a yoga studio downtown,” he said. “He’s shit for doing the actual yoga, but he’s hired actually healthy people for that,” he said with a fond chuckle as they started down the stairs. “William probably couldn’t do a pushup, none the less bendy yoga poses,” he joked.

“What’s SCAD?” Brian asked.

Gerard shot him a look. “Really, Brian? You’ve been with me five years and you really haven’t ever heard me mention it?” he asked. “It’s one of the best art schools in the country,” he said and Travis nodded.

“I teach a modern art class,” he explained. He looked up as William came out of the office with his phone. “Ready baby?” he asked, and William nodded.

“We’ll be back later, guys. You’re all free to keep investigating all night, but when we get back, I really hope you can keep it quiet and investigate around us, not come barging into our room around four in the morning,” William said, smiling.

“No problem,” Brian said, waving a hand. “We’ll be good here.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
“Alright,” Brian started. “Split up in pairs first. Sun’s setting so I want the first pair out back right away,” he said. “Who volunteers-“

“Me!” Brendon cried. “I wanna see the old lady,” he said in a rush. “Me and Spencer,” he said, grabbing Spencer’s hand. “He’s got great camera skills and I’m too jumpy to hold my own,” he said bashfully.

Spencer laughed. “Alright, we’ll do that,” he said, taking a wireless recorder as they rushed out back.

Gerard hummed, eyeing everybody left. “We’re not splitting up by couple. That never leads to good things,” he warned.

Pete gave him wide eyes. “But I can’t investigate if I spend the whole time worrying that a ghost is hurting my Patrick,” he said, clinging to Patrick. “He’s gotta be with me-“

“Pete,” Patrick snapped. “You are not making out with anybody while we’re supposed to be investigating so hang that up right now-“

“Except them,” Brian said to Gerard. “They can work together cause Patrick’s a bitch sometimes and won’t let Pete distract him,” he said.

Gerard agreed and Pete cheered. “You guys go to the office. They always talk about hearing footsteps in there with the guy who called me to contact them.” He looked at the others. “Mikey, me and you can go into the living room and have an EVP session,” he said. He looked around. “Ryan, Jon, you guys go with Brian and Gabe and film them in the bedroom,” he said, and they both nodded.

Jon smirked suddenly. “Can’t say I’ve ever did sound for a bedroom filming,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Gerard glared. “Hey, mind out of the gutter,” he said. He shot Gabe a look. “Don’t get any ideas about my man, damn it,” he said and Brian smirked at Gerard.

“I like it when you’re possessive,” he joked and Gerard rolled his eyes. “Alright, we’ll investigate those places before swapping out. I want at least an hour,” he said, and Brian nodded.

“Alright.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
It had been hours and all different places investigated without any activity. They finally all met in the living room to talk. “I’m just not getting anything,” Gerard said. “I mean, there were a few strange EMF hits, but that’s it. No voices, no sounds, just a few old house creaks and groans,” he said.

Brian nodded. “We got a little chilled breeze once but not much else. This house is supposed to be so freaky William’s scared of being home alone and so far nothing,” he said.

Brendon looked at Gabe. “Any oogie feelings?” he asked and Gabe made an indecisive face.

“There’s something, but it’s just a weird feeling here and there.” He sighed. “Really, it could just be the whole ‘old house’ thing. I’m sure there’s plenty of residual energy even if there’s no paranormal activity.”

Brian sighed. “This couple isn’t lying or making it up. They honestly seem bothered by something. Why isn’t anything happening?” he wondered.

Gerard hummed. “I wonder,” he started. “Do you think maybe it’s tied to one of them?” he asked.

Brian shrugged. “I guess we’ll see when they get home.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Brendon raised an eyebrow at Pete, who was kissing Patrick’s jaw, cheek, and the side of his neck as he said things that had Patrick rolling his eyes and making faces of annoyance. “Do they ever stop?” he asked Spencer, who chuckled.

“Not sure it’s possible,” he said and then snickered when Pete leaned around Patrick’s shoulder, as he was turned away to view the screens, and kissed him sweetly. “They’re disgusting,” he joked and Brendon grinned.

“I think it’s sweet. As much as Patrick bitches, he actually loves him and it’s adorable,” he argued.

Spencer’s reply was interrupted as the front door opened and everybody started, looking towards the hallway. Brian was up in a flash, going to meet the clients. Travis looked up. “Hey, everything alright?” he asked curiously.

Brian started to speak but they all were cut off by a thump from upstairs on the landing above them. They all looked up and William sighed, leaning closer into Travis’s side. “Well that answers my question,” Brian said, then shook his head. “Look, we think the haunting is tied to you guys,” he said.

Gerard nodded. “Nothing happened. At all. Not a single thing happened while you were gone and now-“ he paused, gesturing to the footsteps coming from upstairs. “Activity central.”

Travis sighed and nodded. “Well… what do you need from us?” he asked, sliding a comforting arm around William’s waist as he looked at the frightened look on his husband’s face.

“I’ve got work in the morning. I need to be up by eight, so I can’t be running around,” William pointed out. “Travis can do something maybe but-“

Brian shook his head. “No, it’s cool. I think just being here get their juices flowing, so you guys should be able to go on to bed,” he said, offering a smile. “We’ll try and keep it down,” he promised and William nodded.

Travis sighed. “Baby, go on up to bed, I’ll be there soon,” he said and William nodded.

“Are you gonna be long?” he asked and Travis shook his head. William smiled. “Alright, don’t make me wait up,” he said, leaning up to kiss Travis quickly before starting up the stairs. 

Travis watched him walk then sighed when he disappeared. “I’m always scared he’s gonna see something and fall down the stairs when it scares him,” he admitted. “Alright, so whatever this is, it’s tied to us?” he asked.

Gerard nodded. “It has to be. We knew something was up when nothing happened because William isn’t faking how scared he is,” he said. “You can see it in his eyes he’s terrified of this house.” 

Travis nodded. “Yeah, he is. And I think that’s why he sees more than me,” he said softly. “Whatever is in this house knows he’s scared. I’m just pissed.”

“We understand,” Gerard said. “Pete,” he called and Pete jumped up, kissing Patrick once more before walking to them. “You and Gabe get ready to go upstairs in one of the empty bedrooms and do an EVP session or something.”

Pete nodded. “Sweet, Gabe!” he called and Gabe came over. “Me and you can snag some cameras and recorders and go try and contact something up in one of the spare bedrooms,” he said and Gabe smiled.

“About damn time I’m able to be useful!” he said, turning to go get some gear for them.

Brian looked at Travis with a reassuring smile. “Just go get some sleep, we’ll be quiet as possible, for sure-“

“AHHHH!” They all started at the sound of a scream from upstairs. Travis looked up quickly, starting towards the stairs. “TRAVIS!” William screamed again.

“William?!” Travis cried, sprinting up the stairs three at a time. “Baby?” he called out and Gerard, Brian, Pete, and Gabe all ran up the stairs after him. Gabe had the camera running, holding it over the shorter heads as they went. “Bill-“

Just as Travis got to the bedroom door, it flew open and William ran out, flying into Travis. “Travis, Travis, oh my God,” he cried, shaking tearfully as he clung to Travis, looking over his shoulder. “It was the man, the- the one with the mustache,” he claimed in a shaky breath.

“Shh, shh it’s okay, baby,” Travis soothed, walking him away from the door. He cringed, tugging the unbuttoned shirt William was wearing closed. He was clearly in the middle of changing for bed.

“He hit me!” William squeaked, clinging to Travis. Travis pulled him back, frowning. William pointed at his cheek and Travis pushed his hair away, looking at a red mark on his cheekbone.

“Wait,” Pete rushed over. “The entity hit you?” he asked and William nodded, sniffling.

Brian cringed. “Demonic spirits are the only ones that can do that, right Pete?” he asked.

Pete shook his head. “Not necessarily demonic, but angry. Whatever it is, it’s intelligent and angry at you,” he said thoughtfully.

William just whimpered, clinging to Travis. “It was an older man with a big mustache and a- a hat and a white shirt with suspenders. I only saw the upper half but- but he looked so mad and he said-“ William shuddered. “He called me a filthy whore and then hit me across the face!”

Travis gaped. “WHAT?!” he cried, glowering at their bedroom door.

Pete cringed, looking over at Brian. “Well, I guess we know what the spirits are targeting.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
William refused to go back into the bedroom or the bathroom where he had been changing when he came out and saw the apparition. He didn’t even want to be upstairs. Travis went into the bedroom with Pete and Gabe to get William’s pajama pants so he could change downstairs. Gabe and Pete walked around filming, taking still photos, and checking around with the thermal camera and EMF detectors. 

Patrick brought William a towel full of ice from their kitchen. William took it with a sigh. “Thank you,” he said, sitting on the living room floor, knees curled up to his chest. He took the ice and held it to his cheek bone, cringing at the first touch. “I didn’t think ghosts hit,” he said, pouting.

Patrick chuckled. “Well, they can theoretically do anything. You see cases of scratches and stuff, but most people attribute it to demonic entities. However, if poltergeists can throw stuff around, why shouldn’t there be entities that can touch people?”

William snorted. “They can, trust me. I didn’t just bitch slap myself,” he said, huffing.

“Baby?” William looked up and Travis walked over and handed him a pair of gray track pants. “Here, baby,” he said, kneeling down. “Come here,” he said, kissing the top of his head as he eased the ice away from his cheek. He cringed as it was swollen some. “I wish I could kick a ghost’s ass.”

William smiled. “I’m okay, baby,” he said, kissing him sweetly as he stood up lithely. “Be back in a second,” he said, going to change out of his jeans.

Travis watched him walk out then turned to Pete. “Okay, what do we do about the violent ghost? I’m not cool with that.”

“Well,” Gabe started. “I guess we’ll do our session to contact spirits and see if I can find out what they want. They rarely get violent unless they want something,” he said.

Pete nodded. “Usually it’s ‘get out’.” He cringed. “Really the best way to combat them is to make it clear you’re not afraid. This is YOUR home, not theirs.”

Patrick nodded. “Gabe, go get set up upstairs.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
William squeezed his husband’s hand as he sat down in their circle. “What are we doing?” he asked nervously. “I don’t- I don’t want to risk any more coming in the house,” he said, eyeing Gabe, who was looking down at a device in front of him.

Gabe smiled. “Don’t worry, I’m not like a medium really. Spirits don’t like… make contact through me, I just have more sensitivity to them. I can see and feel things more than most. It’s not as much a psychic power or ability as a sensitivity to the spirits and to the earth and such.”

William nodded uneasily, leaning his head on Travis’s shoulder. “I’m just scared,” he admitted and Travis kissed the top of his head.

“It’s okay, baby,” he said with a comforting smile.

“ _Filthy whore!_ ”

William’s eyes widened and he looked around, only to spot Gabe looking around frantically. “Baby?” Travis asked, putting his hand on his thigh. “Bill?”

“Guys!” Gabe called to the ones who were still setting up. “Come over here, it’s here,” he said, turning his head to make sure nobody was behind him. “Did anybody else just hear that?”

William raised a hand. “That’s the man! He just called me a filthy whore again!” he said, looking worried. He looked around, searching for the old man who hit him.

“Don’t be afraid,” Gabe comforted. “Guys,” he looked at the others. “Everybody sit down for me and let me get quiet,” he said.

“ _Such a pretty girl to be living in such filth._ ”

William glanced around, eyes wide with fear. “Huh?” he asked, confused.

Gabe just chuckled, raising an eyebrow. “Well, that’s part of the problem,” he said and William frowned. “He thinks you’re a woman. Not sure what you’re doing to ‘live in filth’ unless it’s like… you know, old fashioned ghost and you’re running around in pants and he thinks you’re a woman.”

William suddenly squeaked and whimpered, clawing at Travis’s shirt as he practically climbed into his lap. “Oh my God, oh my God!” he whispered in terror, looking straight ahead, over Pete’s head, at the door to the empty bedroom behind him. Everybody turned and saw the door had opened itself. 

Gabe, however, jumped as he, too, spotted a man in nineteenth century clothing standing there, looking angry. It was the mustached man William had mentioned. Travis was clearly freaked out, trying to calm William, who was trying to get away from him. “Shh, baby, baby calm down,” he said, holding him. “Seriously, William, chill out, there’s nothing there-“

The entity made a disgusted face and Gabe watched as it raised a wispy, smoky looking hand to point at William. “Look at that whore,” the hollow voice said and Gabe frowned.

“Why is she a whore?” he asked, earning funny looks from those who couldn’t hear or see the ghost like he and William could. “What’s she done wrong?” he asked, trying to understand what the problem was that made the spirits so angry.

“Leave them alone!” 

Gabe jumped, visibly freaked out as another voice came from behind him. He turned around, only to see a _woman_ coming out of the wall beside Travis and William’s bedroom. This time, Pete reacted. “Holy shit, do you guys see this?!” he cried, raising his camera. “Oh my God, holy fuck-“

“Devil woman!” The male ghost said, facing the woman. “You’re no better than her!”

Everybody was looking at Pete, Gabe, and William in confusion. “Dudes,” Gabe said, “I think only William and I can see the whole story, but there is a male figure, the mustache man who hit William and is calling him a whore, standing there, behind Patrick-“ Patrick spun around, looking wildly. “Then behind me, over there,” he pointed. “Is an old woman and they’re arguing. She told him to leave us alone and he called her a ‘devil woman’,” he explained.

“You are an abomination,” the man said to the woman, who looked angry. “And that decent, pretty girl’s mixed herself in with filth,” he said.

Gabe frowned. “Why is she filthy?” he asked.

“She’s married to that negro! It’s filth and sin against God and nature-“

“HEY!” William said suddenly, glowering. Everybody looked at him. “That’s not nice,” he said to the spirit, who just glared like always at him.

Travis frowned. “Baby? What’s it saying to you?”

“They’re two men anyhow!” the woman spirit said and suddenly the lights all went out.

Gabe froze. “Uh-oh,” he said, looking around, seeing only from the glow of the cameras and equipment around them. “Not good, angry spirit is an antebellum spirit who’s been tormenting William because he think he’s a good white girl who is a ‘filthy whore’ because her husband is black,” he explained. “And then the woman said they’re both men anyways and angry man made the lights go out.”

William sniffled. “That racist bastard hit me cause my husband’s black?!”

Travis sighed. “Not surprising, baby,” he said, then blinked when Patrick turned on a flashlight, shining it around. “He’s a ghost from the eighteen hundreds,” he pointed out.

“Now that the lights are out, I’m kinda concerned,” Gabe admitted. “I don’t hear them.”

William sniffled again, shaking his head. “Me either. Maybe they lef-AHHHHH!” Everybody watched in horror as William was dragged backwards, away from the circle of their lights.

“WILLIAM?!” Travis cried in shock, jumping up to rush out of the lights after William. Pete leapt to his feet, as did Brian, chasing after them. Gerard, Mikey, and Patrick all heard shouts and doors slamming, only to turn as Gabe suddenly gasped, face going slack.

“Gabe?” Mikey tried and Gabe slowly stood up, disappearing into the bedroom behind him. “GABEY!?” he cried, leaping up as he went after him.

Gerard and Patrick looked at each other. “Dude, don’t leave me here,” Gerard said, and Patrick nodded.

“I wouldn’t do that- AHHH!” Gerard turned when Patrick screamed and joined him as they saw a fairly enraged looking spirit rushing towards them. They threw their arms around each other in fear, but the spirit went straight through them.

“I think that was angry man,” Gerard said, and Patrick nodded, looking even more pale than usual.

“Patrick?!”

They looked up and Patrick turned the flashlight towards Pete’s voice, sighing when he spotted Pete coming out of the master bedroom. “Pete, what happened?” he asked.

Pete groaned. “It drug William into that bedroom and he’s pretty much terrified. He jumped up and ran and is currently curled up in the corner in his and Travis’s room. Travis is trying to talk him out of his corner but he’s basically in shock. Brian got kinda funky and just walked off so now I’m not sure where he is.”

Gerard nodded. “Gabe did too and he walked in there,” he said, pointing at the bedroom beside them. “Mikey followed him-“

“BRIAN STOP!” they heard Mikey scream suddenly.

Gerard was to his feet in an instant. He ran into the room, only to cry out as he saw Brian strangling Gabe, who was on his knees in the center of the room. “BRIAN!” he cried, rushing over. He reached out, only to cry out as Brian let go with one hand and slapped him, knocking him back.

Mikey ran over and leapt on Brian, knocking him off of Gabe, who spluttered for air, collapsing. Brian struggled and tossed Mikey off. Gerard got up and sat on Brian, straddling his hips as he pinned his wrists down. “GET OFF YOU WHORE!” Brian snarled and Gerard licked his split lip, pinning him down with his weight.

“Whatever the fuck you are in my boyfriend, get the hell out,” Gerard snarled, glaring at the look that was _not_ at all Brian on his face. Brian never had that expression.

Gabe began to choke out words again. Mikey knelt, helping him up, but nobody could understand what he was saying. He kept going, voice raspy from strangulation, and Brian snarled, bucking harder as he tried to get free. They heard William screaming again, Pete shouting, someone running, and finally, as Gabe spat out one last word, the whole house began to shake violently.

The windows rattled, furniture shifted, everybody was crying out in fear. Beneath Gerard, Brian was full on howling obscenities. Mikey watched in horror as Brian _threw_ Gerard off of him and Gerard flew across the room, slamming into the wall. He fell to the floor in the empty bedroom and just lay there in a lump. “GERARD?!” Mikey called out, only to scream when Brian got to his feet and ran towards Gabe, who Mikey was holding up. “HELP ME!” he screamed, wrapping his arms around Gabe as he shielded him from Brian as best he could.

Though the house was shaking, Pete managed to make it into the room and lunge at Brian, who was clawing at Mikey, trying to get his hands to Gabe’s throat again. Mikey was crying and screaming in pain as Brian’s nails dug into his arms, drawing blood.

There was a loud, ghostly wail from the master bedroom and Gabe suddenly cried out once more before everything stopped.

The house stopped shaking, the screams and wails were all silenced at once, Brian and Gabe both went stark still and collapsed, and the whole house became silent. After a moment, there were footsteps and voices, followed by all the lights coming on again. The moment the lights were up, Patrick rushed into the room. “PETER?!” he cried, spotting Pete. He gasped when he saw Pete leaning over Brian, who was laying on the floor, panting and looking around wildly. “Brian?” he called, heading over.

Gabe was in Mikey’s lap, panting and looking around in shock. Mikey looked up and looked over at Gerard, who was still lying on the floor, unmoving. “Gerard?” he called. He gently slid out from under Gabe and then crawled across the floor to Gerard. He carefully rolled Gerard onto his back and gasped when he saw blood all down the side of Gerard’s face from a cut on his hairline. “Gee?!” he cried, looking around. “Shit, he’s knocked out,” he said.

Patrick walked over and knelt down, looking at the cut. “It’s not bad, head wounds just bleed a lot,” he explained. “He’ll be okay, but we should take him to a hospital just in case,” he said. “I’ll go get something to hold on the wound. He should wake up pretty soon,” he comforted.

Brian turned his head. “Gerard?” he asked weakly. “Gee? What’s wrong with him?” he asked, still dazed.

Mikey cringed. “Dude… you were trying to kill Gabe,” he said. Brian paled. “Gerard tried to stop you and you threw him across the room and he hit the wall and fell on the floor.

Brian looked horrified. He rolled over and got to his knees weakly. He glanced at Gabe and cringed. “Sorry,” he said, then crawled feebly towards Gerard, falling down beside him. “Gee, baby?” he whispered, propping on his forearm as he reached out, grabbing Gerard’s hand. “Baby, I’m so sorry,” he said, kissing his hand. “So sorry, baby,” he apologized weakly. He spotted Mikey’s bleeding arms and looked horrified. “Oh fuck.”

Mikey cringed. “You,” he said, looking at the shredded skin on his forearms. “Burns like a motherfucker,” he said.

Travis walked into the room, carrying William, who was curled up in his arms, crying with his arms around Travis’s neck. “Hey, um, we’re getting out of this house if you guys wanna come with,” he said.

Gabe groaned. “The house is safe now,” he said. “I- I got rid of the spirits,” he said. “One of them was evil. Not just a dead person but a demonic entity. I got it out. It possessed Brian and tried to kill me but I got it out,” he said. 

Travis nodded. “Well, we’re still not being here right now. We’ll come back after dawn,” he said, kissing his stricken husband’s cheek.

Pete nodded. “We’ve got to get Gerard and probably Mikey to a hospital to get patched up,” he said.

About that time Gerard began to come around, groaning. “Oh motherfucker,” he grunted, sitting up halfway. He looked at Brian, who was lying beside him, and glowered. “I hate you,” he spat weakly.

Brian cringed. “Sorry baby.”

Gerard snorted. “You are never getting laid again,” he proclaimed and everybody laughed a bit, some of the tension eased.

As they left the house, the sun was coming up in the east. It shined down on the white house in the clearing. They all looked back at it, amazed that something so innocent looking had hidden such a terrific secret.

William looked up at their home and turned to walk away. “You sure it’s safe now?” he asked Gabe.

Gabe nodded. “It’s safe.”

William nodded, then shuddered. “One more fucking peep from a spirit,” he started, then turned to Travis with a dark look in his eyes. “And we light that motherfucker up,” he said aggressively.

Travis just chuckled. “Alright, baby, whatever you say,” he said, tugging his husband into his arms. Everybody stood for a moment, watching the sunrise over the house.

It looked so inconspicuous in the sunlight.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Everybody filed into the board room, sitting down. “So, how did the trip go?” Andy asked, looking around.

Everybody who was there looked at each other before shuddering. Brendon looked around and cringed, holding out a tape. “What’s this?” Joe asked, taking it.

Brendon shook his head. “You wouldn’t believe us if we told you.”


End file.
